1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,618 [ Traffic Noises ] 4 00:00:27,703 --> 00:00:30,288 ♪ Uno, dos ♪ 5 00:00:30,372 --> 00:00:33,124 ♪ Tres, cuatro ♪ 6 00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:35,626 ♪ Ahh ♪♪ 7 00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:24,175 [ Grunts ] 8 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:57,375 ♪♪ [ Car Stereo: Rap ] 9 00:01:57,459 --> 00:02:00,920 ♪ I got my pistol pawn cocked ready to lay shots nonstop ♪ 10 00:02:01,004 --> 00:02:03,131 ♪ Until I see your monkey ass drop ♪ 11 00:02:03,215 --> 00:02:05,216 ♪ And let your homies know who done it ♪ 12 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,803 ♪ When it comes to this gangsta shit, you motherfuckers know who run it ♪ 13 00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:11,848 ♪ We're standing up for our own shit ♪ 14 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,850 ♪ And ifyou put this motherfucker to the test ♪ 15 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,226 - ♪ You gotta realize somethin', nigga ♪ - [ Stereo: Volume Lowers ] 16 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,978 ♪ You fuckin' with the very best ♪ 17 00:02:17,062 --> 00:02:19,355 - [ Stereo: Volume Increases ] - ♪ I got this killa up inside of me ♪ 18 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:22,775 ♪ I can't talk to my mother so I talk to my diary ♪♪ 19 00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:31,742 Mother shitter, son of an ass-- 20 00:02:31,827 --> 00:02:34,078 You-- I'll just-- 21 00:02:40,002 --> 00:02:42,336 I was told-- Have you-- 22 00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:46,090 I was told that if I was late again, I would be summarily dismissed. 23 00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:09,655 [ Car Alarm Chirps ] 24 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,642 [ Grumbles ] 25 00:03:39,645 --> 00:03:41,812 [ Electrical Crackle ] 26 00:03:46,652 --> 00:03:50,321 [ Chattering ] 27 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,200 [ Woman ] Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 28 00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:56,619 Just a moment. 29 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:59,080 Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 30 00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,707 Just a moment. 31 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,210 Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 32 00:04:04,294 --> 00:04:07,546 Just a moment. 33 00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:10,049 Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 34 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,343 Just a moment. 35 00:04:12,427 --> 00:04:16,722 Corporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. Just a moment. 36 00:04:16,807 --> 00:04:18,766 Corporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 37 00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:21,978 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 38 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:25,189 Uh, we have sort of a problem here. 39 00:04:25,274 --> 00:04:30,278 Yeah, you apparently didn't put one of the new cover sheets on your T.P.S. reports. 40 00:04:30,362 --> 00:04:34,031 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. I-I forgot. 41 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:36,075 Mmm, yeah. 42 00:04:36,159 --> 00:04:40,621 You see, we're putting the cover sheets on all T.P.S. reports now before they go out. 43 00:04:40,706 --> 00:04:43,416 Did you see the memo about this? 44 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:48,421 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I have the memo right here. I just, uh, forgot. 45 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:52,300 But it's not shipping out till tomorrow, so there's no problem. 46 00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:54,135 Yeah. 47 00:04:54,219 --> 00:04:58,931 Ifyou could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that would be great. 48 00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:02,101 And, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure you get another copy ofthat memo. 49 00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:04,353 - Mm-kay? bye-bye, Peter. - Yeah, no, I have the memo. 50 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,355 I've got it. It's right-- 51 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,858 [ Lumbergh ] Hello, Phil. What's happening? 52 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:12,987 Uh, I came by here yesterday-- 53 00:05:13,071 --> 00:05:15,948 [ Man On Radio, Indistinct ] 54 00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:19,368 - [ Mumbling ] - Milton? 55 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:23,664 Hi. Uh, could you turn that down just a little bit? 56 00:05:23,749 --> 00:05:26,667 Well, I-I was told that I could listen to the radio... 57 00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:28,669 at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 1 1 :00. 58 00:05:28,754 --> 00:05:32,006 Yeah, no, no, I know you're allowed to. I, uh-- 59 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,717 I was just thinking maybe like, you know, a personal favor, you-- 60 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:40,222 Well, I-I told Bill that if-if Sandra's going to listen to her headphones... 61 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,142 while she's-- while she's filing, then I should be able to listen... 62 00:05:43,226 --> 00:05:45,102 - to the radio while I'm collating. - Uh-huh. 63 00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:47,271 So, I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio. 64 00:05:47,356 --> 00:05:49,857 - Yeah, all right. Okay. - Because I enjoy listening... 65 00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:52,860 - at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 1 1 :00. - Thanks, Milton. 66 00:05:52,944 --> 00:05:54,653 Hi, Peter. 67 00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:59,241 What's happening? We need to talk about your T.P.S. reports. 68 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,786 Yeah, the cover sheet. I know. I know. 69 00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,205 - Uh, Bill talked to me about it. - Yeah. 70 00:06:04,289 --> 00:06:06,499 - Did you get that memo? - Yeah, I got the memo. 71 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:11,837 And I understand the policy and the problem is just that I forgot the one time. 72 00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:14,298 I've already taken care of it, so it's not really a problem anymore. 73 00:06:14,383 --> 00:06:18,803 Ah, yeah. It's just we're putting new cover sheets... 74 00:06:18,887 --> 00:06:21,389 on all the T.P.S. reports before they go out now. 75 00:06:21,473 --> 00:06:26,310 So, ifyou could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. 76 00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:28,479 All right! 77 00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:32,316 [ Phone Ringing ] 78 00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:36,195 [ Ring ] 79 00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:40,699 - Peter Gibbons. - [ Man ] Yeah. Peter? 80 00:06:40,784 --> 00:06:44,203 - Yes. - Did you get the memo about the T.P.S. reports? 81 00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,163 I have the memo. 82 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:50,042 - [ Whirring, Beeping ] - No, not again. 83 00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:52,461 Why does it say "paperjam" when there is no paperjam? 84 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:57,633 I swear to God, one ofthese days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. 85 00:06:57,717 --> 00:07:00,845 You and me both, man. The thing is lucky I'm not armed. 86 00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:06,267 - Piece of shit. - Sam Ire-- 87 00:07:06,351 --> 00:07:10,938 Na-- Na-- Na-- Naga-- 88 00:07:11,022 --> 00:07:13,899 - No. Please. - Uh-huh. 89 00:07:13,984 --> 00:07:15,985 Michael... 90 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,320 - Bolton? - That's me. 91 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,489 Wow. Is that your real name? 92 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:24,910 - Yeah. [ Clears Throat ] - So, are you related to that singer guy? 93 00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:27,830 - No, it's just a coincidence. - Oh. 94 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,249 [ Mutters ] Yeah, you fuckin' cow. 95 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,960 No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. 96 00:07:33,044 --> 00:07:37,047 I-It's not that hard-- Nagheenanajar. Nagheenanajar. 97 00:07:37,132 --> 00:07:40,217 Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. 98 00:07:40,302 --> 00:07:42,303 You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. 99 00:07:42,387 --> 00:07:45,806 There was nothing wrong with it, until I was about 1 2 years old... 100 00:07:45,891 --> 00:07:49,643 and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. 101 00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:54,690 Hmm. Why don't-- Why don't you just, uh, go by Mike instead of Michael? 102 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,901 No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks. 103 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,904 - Hey, guys. - What's up, G.? 104 00:07:59,988 --> 00:08:03,449 - Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee? - Oh, it's a little early. 105 00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:05,826 I gotta get out of here. I think I'm gonna lose it. 106 00:08:05,911 --> 00:08:09,997 Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. 107 00:08:10,081 --> 00:08:11,916 [ Woman Chuckles ] 108 00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:17,546 Boy, I tell you. Some days. 109 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,299 One ofthese days it's just gonna be like-- [ Imitates Machine Gun ] 110 00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:23,177 [ Imitates Machine Gun, Laughs ] 111 00:08:23,261 --> 00:08:26,305 So, can I get you gentlemen something more to drink, or maybe something to nibble on? 112 00:08:26,389 --> 00:08:28,891 Some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers or extreme fajitas? 113 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,976 Just coffee. 114 00:08:31,061 --> 00:08:33,938 Okay. Sounds like a case ofthe Mondays. [ Chuckles ] 115 00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:41,779 What ifwe're still doing this when we're 50? 116 00:08:41,863 --> 00:08:44,448 It would be nice to have that kind ofjob security. 117 00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:48,702 Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I-I can tell already. 118 00:08:48,787 --> 00:08:52,873 I'm gonna end up doing it because, uh-- because I'm a big pussy. 119 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,917 Which is why I work at Initech to begin with. 120 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:59,213 Yeah, well, I work at Initech, and I don't consider myself a pussy. Okay? 121 00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:01,674 Yes, I am also not a pussy. 122 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,717 They're gonna find out the hard way I'm not a pussy... 123 00:09:03,802 --> 00:09:06,720 - if they don't start treating their software people better. - That's right. 124 00:09:06,805 --> 00:09:10,516 I don't understand. I could program a virus that would rip that place off big-time. 125 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,477 - Yeah. - Big-time. 126 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:18,566 - Whoa. - There she is. 127 00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:21,986 Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl. 128 00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:24,405 Ifyou're so obsessed with her, why don't you just ask her out? 129 00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:27,866 No, I can't do that. I'm just another asshole customer. 130 00:09:27,951 --> 00:09:31,036 You can'tjust walk up to a waitress and ask her out. 131 00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:33,414 Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne. 132 00:09:33,498 --> 00:09:36,417 Uh, that reminds me. I'm not going to be able to play poker with you guys on Friday. 133 00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:39,920 - Why not? - I'm gonna see this, uh... 134 00:09:40,005 --> 00:09:41,880 occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. 135 00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:45,342 - Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? - Yeah, I know. 136 00:09:45,427 --> 00:09:50,848 Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. I'm-- 137 00:09:50,932 --> 00:09:53,183 You know, sometimes I think I— 138 00:09:53,268 --> 00:09:55,936 I get thinking that she's cheating on me. 139 00:09:56,021 --> 00:09:58,480 - Yeah, I know what you mean. - Yeah. 140 00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,359 What is that supposed to mean? 141 00:10:02,444 --> 00:10:04,862 Nothing. 142 00:10:04,946 --> 00:10:08,157 Look. Just tell Anne that you're not into hypnosis and you wanna play poker. 143 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,993 No, I can't do that. She'll get all pissed off. 144 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:13,996 And, besides, I think that the guy might actually be able to help. 145 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,998 I mean, he did help Anne lose weight. 146 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,250 Peter, she's anorexic. 147 00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:21,503 Yeah, I know. The guy's really good. 148 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,506 Yeah, well, I don't think any occupational hypnotherapist... 149 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,967 is gonna help you solve any ofyour problems. 150 00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:28,761 Okay? Hey, and speaking of problems... 151 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:31,180 what's this I hear about you having problems with your T.P.S. reports? 152 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,308 Yeah. Didn't you get that memo? 153 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,980 - Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! - Is that Smykowski? 154 00:10:40,065 --> 00:10:42,024 - Samir! - [ Samir ] What's he doing? 155 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,068 Oh, probably working on another heart attack. 156 00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:46,987 I've been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this? 157 00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:50,199 - I knew it. I knew it. - What? It's a staff meeting. So what? 158 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:54,620 So what? We're all screwed, that's what. They're gonna downsize Initech. 159 00:10:54,704 --> 00:10:56,747 What are you talking about, Tom? How do you know that? 160 00:10:56,831 --> 00:11:00,042 How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant, that's how I know. 161 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,044 That's what this staff meeting is all about. 162 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,213 It happened at Initrode last year. 163 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,800 You have to interview with this consultant. They call them "efficiency experts." 164 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,177 But what you're really doing is interviewing for your own job. 165 00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:12,805 [ Michael ] Every week you say you're going to lose yourjob, and you're still here. 166 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,474 [ Tom ] Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. 167 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:19,728 The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office, to stand in line with scumbags! 168 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,648 Shit. 169 00:11:22,732 --> 00:11:26,694 You know, there are people in this world that don't have to put up with all this shit. 170 00:11:26,778 --> 00:11:29,697 Like that guy that invented the Pet Rock? 171 00:11:29,781 --> 00:11:32,950 You see, that's what you have to do. 172 00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,952 You have to use your mind... 173 00:11:35,036 --> 00:11:37,788 and come up with some really great idea like that. 174 00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:39,873 And you can make millions. Never have to work again. 175 00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:41,875 You think the Pet Rock was a really great idea? 176 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:46,338 Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. 177 00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:53,512 You know, I had an idea like that once, a long time ago. 178 00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:55,514 Really? What was it, Tom? 179 00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:58,183 Well, all right. 180 00:11:58,268 --> 00:12:02,146 It was a "jump to conclusions" mat. 181 00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:06,108 You see, it would be this mat... 182 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:08,360 that you would put on the floor... 183 00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:13,198 and it would have different conclusions written on it... 184 00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,617 that you could jump to. 185 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,291 That is the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom. 186 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:26,044 Yes. Yes, it's horrible, this idea. 187 00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:31,467 Uh, look, I gotta get outta here. 188 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,719 I'll see you guys later... 189 00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:37,347 - if I still have a job. - Yeah. 190 00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,726 Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do... 191 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:42,770 ifyou had a million dollars, didn't have to work. 192 00:12:42,854 --> 00:12:46,106 And, invariably, whatever you'd say, that was supposed to be your career. 193 00:12:46,191 --> 00:12:49,526 Ifyou wanted to fix old cars, then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. 194 00:12:49,611 --> 00:12:53,280 - So what did you say? - I never had an answer. 195 00:12:53,364 --> 00:12:55,282 I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. 196 00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:58,827 No. You're working at Initech 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. 197 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,871 If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... 198 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:04,124 because no one would clean shit up ifthey had a million dollars. 199 00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:06,210 You know what I would do if I had million dollars? 200 00:13:06,294 --> 00:13:09,171 I would invest half of it in low-risk mutual funds... 201 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,633 and then take the other half of it to my friend Asadulah, who works in securities-- 202 00:13:12,717 --> 00:13:15,344 Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise... 203 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:19,973 - is that you're supposed to figure out what you would want to do if-- - [ Beeps ] 204 00:13:20,058 --> 00:13:22,851 "P.C. load letter"? What the fuck does that mean? 205 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,686 What the-- 206 00:13:39,744 --> 00:13:42,037 [ TV On, Indistinct ] 207 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,081 [ Sighs ] 208 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,668 [ Man ] Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel 9! 209 00:13:47,752 --> 00:13:50,671 - Check out this chick! - Damn it, Lawrence. 210 00:13:50,755 --> 00:13:53,674 Can't you just pretend like we can't hear each other through the wall? 211 00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:55,175 Oh, sorry, man! Anne over there or somethin'? 212 00:13:55,260 --> 00:14:00,764 No, but... ifyou wanna talk to me, just come over. 213 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,145 Hey, man. Check this out, dude. 214 00:14:08,773 --> 00:14:13,193 [ Woman ] The key is early detection. Tumors that are detected-- 215 00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:17,030 - Aw, geez, Lawrence. - I'm sorry, man. I thought you'd want to see this. 216 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:19,616 Doesn't that chick look like Anne? 217 00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:22,536 Yeah. A little bit. I— 218 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:25,873 Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out? 219 00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:29,126 Yeah. I guess. I-I don't know. 220 00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:31,545 Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. 221 00:14:31,629 --> 00:14:33,755 Yeah. I get that feeling too, man. 222 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,717 What do you mean by that? 223 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,177 I don't know, man. 224 00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:41,430 I just get that feeling lookin' at her, like... 225 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,807 she's the type of chick that would just-- 226 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,811 [ Groans ] 227 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,356 Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, I-I— 228 00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:54,026 You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass. I don't know nothin'. 229 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,029 Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right. Just-- I had a rough day. 230 00:14:57,113 --> 00:15:00,657 Tell me about it, man. [ Groans ] 231 00:15:00,742 --> 00:15:05,787 I gotta wake my ass up at 6:00 a.m. every day this week... 232 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,789 drag up to Las Clindas. 233 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,626 Yeah. I'm doin' the drywall up there at the new McDonald's. 234 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,712 Let me ask you something. 235 00:15:13,796 --> 00:15:16,089 When you come in on Monday and you're not feelin' real well... 236 00:15:16,174 --> 00:15:19,843 does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"? 237 00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:23,639 No. 238 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,641 No, man. 239 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,517 Shit, no, man. 240 00:15:27,602 --> 00:15:30,228 I believe you'd get your ass kicked, sayin' somethin' like that, man. 241 00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:33,523 - Huh. - We still goin' fishin' this weekend? 242 00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:36,443 Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday. I just know it. 243 00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,445 Well, you can get out of that easily. 244 00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:40,405 Yeah? How? 245 00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:42,240 Well... 246 00:15:42,325 --> 00:15:44,785 when a boss wants you to work on a Saturday... 247 00:15:44,869 --> 00:15:48,163 - he generally asks you at the end ofthe day, right? - Yeah. 248 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,832 So all you gotta do is avoid him-- That's all right. I got it-- 249 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:54,628 on the last dew hours on Friday, duck out early... 250 00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:58,548 turn offyour answering machine, you should be home free, man. 251 00:16:00,218 --> 00:16:02,094 That's a really good idea. 252 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,137 Fuckin'-A, man. 253 00:16:04,222 --> 00:16:09,768 Lawrence, what would you do ifyou had a million dollars? 254 00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:13,021 I'll tell you what I'd do, man. 255 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,065 Two chicks at the same time, man. 256 00:16:18,736 --> 00:16:20,654 That's it? 257 00:16:20,738 --> 00:16:24,408 Ifyou had a million dollars, y-you'd do two chicks at the same time? 258 00:16:24,492 --> 00:16:27,369 Damn straight. I've always wanted to do that, man. 259 00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,122 I think if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up too. 260 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:33,375 - 'Cause chicks dig dudes with money. - Well, not all chicks. 261 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,211 Well, the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. 262 00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,296 - Good point. - Well, what about you now 263 00:16:38,381 --> 00:16:40,882 - What would you do? - Besides two chicks at the same time? 264 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,760 - Well, yeah. - Nothing. 265 00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:45,887 Nothin', huh? 266 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,181 I would relax. 267 00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:51,685 I would sit on my ass all day. 268 00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:53,645 I would do nothing. 269 00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:56,398 Well, you don't nEED a million dollars to do nothin', man. 270 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:59,901 Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do shit. 271 00:17:02,947 --> 00:17:07,367 [ Nina's Voice ] Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. Just a moment. 272 00:17:07,452 --> 00:17:09,703 Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 273 00:17:09,787 --> 00:17:11,872 Just a moment. 274 00:17:11,956 --> 00:17:14,416 Crporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking. 275 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,626 Just a moment. 276 00:17:16,711 --> 00:17:19,838 [ Lumbergh ] So, you should ask yourself: 277 00:17:19,922 --> 00:17:23,050 With every decision you make, is this good for the company? 278 00:17:23,134 --> 00:17:26,470 - Am I helping with-- - Is that the guy? 279 00:17:26,554 --> 00:17:28,805 Yeah. We're screwed. 280 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,309 Okay, then, um-- 281 00:17:32,393 --> 00:17:37,397 I'd like to go ahead and welcome, uh, a new member to our team here. 282 00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:41,651 This is, uh, Bob Slydell. 283 00:17:42,987 --> 00:17:45,238 Yeah. Uh-- 284 00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:47,407 Bob is a consultant. 285 00:17:47,492 --> 00:17:52,704 Yeah. He's gonna be sort of, uh... 286 00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:55,373 helping us out a little here... 287 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:58,376 asking some questions, maybe seeing ifthere are some ways... 288 00:17:58,461 --> 00:18:02,214 we can make things run a little more smoothly around here. 289 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:06,635 Yeah. Oh, and remember... 290 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,888 next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. 291 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:15,519 So, you know, ifyou want to, go ahead and, uh... 292 00:18:15,603 --> 00:18:18,355 wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. 293 00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:21,233 And I said I don't care ifthey lay me off, either. 294 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:25,028 Because I told Bill that ifthey move my desk one more time... 295 00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:27,739 then I'm-- I'm quitting-- I'm going to quit. 296 00:18:27,824 --> 00:18:32,786 And I told Dom too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year. 297 00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:34,955 And I used to be over by the window... 298 00:18:35,039 --> 00:18:38,291 and I could see the squirrels, and they were married. 299 00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:41,670 But then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler. 300 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,798 But I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much... 301 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:47,509 and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. 302 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,803 - Okay, Milton. - [ Milton On Phone ] And, oh, no, it's not okay... 303 00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:53,014 because ifthey make me-- ifthey take my stapler... 304 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:56,977 then I'll-- I'll have to-- I'll set the building on fire. 305 00:18:57,061 --> 00:18:59,020 Okay, well, that sounds, uh-- that sounds great. 306 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:02,107 - Uh, I'll talk to you later, all right? Bye. - [ Milton Stammering ] 307 00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:04,109 Oh. 308 00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:08,113 Yeah. 309 00:19:18,082 --> 00:19:20,250 Good-bye. 310 00:19:24,338 --> 00:19:28,884 [ Clicking ] 311 00:19:41,063 --> 00:19:43,106 Come on. 312 00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:47,444 Oh, for cryin'-- 313 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,551 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 314 00:20:11,636 --> 00:20:15,263 Um... I'm gonna nEED you... 315 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,225 to go ahead and come in tomorrow. 316 00:20:18,309 --> 00:20:21,728 So ifyou could be here around... 317 00:20:21,812 --> 00:20:23,939 9:00, that would be great. 318 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,941 Mm-kay? 319 00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:28,902 Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. 320 00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:33,573 Uh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in... 321 00:20:33,658 --> 00:20:36,243 on Sunday too, 'kay? 322 00:20:36,327 --> 00:20:39,788 We, um, lost some people this week... 323 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,333 and, uh, we nEED to sort of play catch-up. 324 00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:45,335 Thanks. 325 00:20:49,423 --> 00:20:52,467 [ Peter ] So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized... 326 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:56,137 ever since I started working, um... 327 00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:59,140 every single day of my life has been worse than... 328 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,726 the day before it. 329 00:21:01,811 --> 00:21:05,981 So that means that every single day that you see me... 330 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,024 that's on the worst day of my life. 331 00:21:08,109 --> 00:21:11,569 What about today? Is today the worst day ofyour life? 332 00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:14,322 - Yeah. - Wow. That's messed up. 333 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,995 I'm sorry. Go on. 334 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:23,832 Is there any way that you could sort of... 335 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:28,962 just zonk me out so that, like, I don't know that I'm at work... in here? 336 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:33,008 Culd I come home and think that I've been fishing all day, or something? 337 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:36,761 That's... really not what I do, Peter. 338 00:21:36,846 --> 00:21:39,347 [ Chuckles ] However... 339 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:43,727 the good news is, I think I can help you. 340 00:21:43,811 --> 00:21:46,313 I want you to do something for me, Peter. 341 00:21:47,732 --> 00:21:50,734 I want you to try and relax. 342 00:21:53,404 --> 00:21:56,448 I want you to relax every muscle in your body... 343 00:21:56,532 --> 00:22:01,077 beginning with your toes to your fingertips. 344 00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:07,042 Now, I want you to relax your legs. 345 00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:10,462 You're beginning to feel your eyelids getting heavy... 346 00:22:10,546 --> 00:22:13,340 as you slip deeper and deeper... 347 00:22:13,424 --> 00:22:16,468 into a state of complete relaxation. 348 00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:20,722 All your cares and concerns are disappearing. 349 00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:24,309 Deeper and deeper. Way down. 350 00:22:24,393 --> 00:22:27,354 Your concern about yourjob... 351 00:22:27,438 --> 00:22:29,606 melts away... 352 00:22:29,690 --> 00:22:33,485 way, way down. 353 00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:36,988 [ Grunts ] 354 00:22:37,073 --> 00:22:38,990 Now, when I count backwards from three... 355 00:22:39,075 --> 00:22:42,494 you'll be in a state of complete relaxation. 356 00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:45,830 Your worries, cares and inhibitions will be gone... 357 00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:48,917 and you will remain in that state... 358 00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,753 until I snap my fingers. 359 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:55,090 Three. Deeper and deeper. 360 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:58,343 Way, way down. 361 00:22:58,427 --> 00:23:02,472 Two. Deeper and deeper. 362 00:23:02,556 --> 00:23:05,350 W-W-Way down. 363 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:11,022 [ Labored Breathing ] Whu-- Whu-- One. 364 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,735 [ Gasps ] Oh, my God! Doctor Swanson! 365 00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:18,488 - Ex! Ex! - [ Woman ] Is he breathing? 366 00:23:18,572 --> 00:23:21,658 - Call 91 1 ! - Oh! Where's the phone? Where's the goddamn phone? 367 00:23:21,742 --> 00:23:23,660 [ Man ] Hurry! 368 00:23:23,744 --> 00:23:25,745 - [ Anne ] Peter! - Hurry! 369 00:23:34,839 --> 00:23:36,840 [ Beeping ] 370 00:23:49,061 --> 00:23:51,104 [ Sighs ] 371 00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:56,234 [ Phone Rings ] 372 00:23:56,318 --> 00:23:59,988 - [ Answering Machine Beeps ] - [ On Answering Machine ] Yeah, hi. It's Bill Lumbergh. 373 00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:02,907 It's about... 1 0:00. 374 00:24:02,992 --> 00:24:06,619 Yeah. Just, uh, wondering where you are. 375 00:24:06,704 --> 00:24:08,830 - [ Rings ] - [ Beeps ] 376 00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:11,958 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh again. 377 00:24:12,042 --> 00:24:14,461 Uh, I just wanted to make sure you knew... 378 00:24:14,545 --> 00:24:19,966 that we did start at the, uh, usual time this morning. 379 00:24:20,050 --> 00:24:23,052 Yeah. It isn't a half day or anything like that. 380 00:24:23,137 --> 00:24:25,054 So, ifyou could just go ahead... 381 00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:29,225 and get here as soon as possible, that would be terrific. 382 00:24:48,537 --> 00:24:51,414 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum-- 383 00:24:51,499 --> 00:24:54,792 - Yeah. It's-- - Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh-- 384 00:24:54,877 --> 00:24:58,796 Yeah. It's me again. Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute. 385 00:24:58,881 --> 00:25:02,050 - [ Phone Rings ] - Just checking in, in case you called while I was gone. 386 00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:06,304 - Hello? - [ Anne ] Peter, what's going on? 387 00:25:06,388 --> 00:25:11,184 - Huh? - It's 3:30. Why aren't you at work? 388 00:25:11,268 --> 00:25:14,395 Because I— I— I didn't feel like it. 389 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,689 [ Scoffs ] Peter, what's gotten into you? 390 00:25:16,774 --> 00:25:18,983 First, you just sit there while Dr. Swanson dies. 391 00:25:19,068 --> 00:25:21,653 Then you just walk out ofthe car and embarrass me in front of my friends. 392 00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:25,240 - Don't blame this on hypnosis, either. That's total bull-- - [ Beeps ] 393 00:25:29,286 --> 00:25:31,204 - [ Phone Rings ] - [ Answering Machine Beeps ] 394 00:25:31,288 --> 00:25:33,373 [ Anne ] Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me. 395 00:25:33,457 --> 00:25:36,918 We're through. Oh, and one more thing. 396 00:25:37,002 --> 00:25:39,087 I've been cheating on you! 397 00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:41,714 [ Line Disconnects, Beeps ] 398 00:25:44,301 --> 00:25:47,262 So, from now on, only use the new time sheets... 399 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:51,641 ifyou've worked on two or more job codes in one day... 400 00:25:51,725 --> 00:25:54,769 and you need the extra columns to fit it all in. 401 00:25:54,853 --> 00:25:57,313 - Otherwise, use the old time sheets-- - Where's Peter? 402 00:25:57,398 --> 00:25:59,315 I heard he didn't show up this weekend. 403 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,068 - Uh, I don't know. - I think this new system will really, really help us out. 404 00:26:02,152 --> 00:26:07,115 - Who the hell is that guy? - So, uh, any questions? 405 00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:23,298 - Hi. I'm Peter. - Hi. Can I help you? 406 00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:25,633 What are you doin' for lunch today? 407 00:26:25,718 --> 00:26:28,511 Uh, well, our specials today are blackened chicken. 408 00:26:28,596 --> 00:26:30,555 And-- It's actually right there on the board. Excuse me. 409 00:26:33,142 --> 00:26:35,059 Hey, look who's back! 410 00:26:35,144 --> 00:26:38,396 Table for three to-- 411 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:41,649 I was askin' what you were doin' for lunch. 412 00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:44,319 Would you like to have lunch with me? 413 00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:46,404 [ Scoffs ] Are you-- Are you serious? 414 00:26:46,488 --> 00:26:48,406 Yeah. 415 00:26:48,490 --> 00:26:51,618 Yeah. Um, I don't-- I don't think I'm supposed to do that. 416 00:26:51,702 --> 00:26:53,745 Oh. Okay. 417 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:56,289 I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm gonna go next door and get a table. 418 00:26:56,373 --> 00:26:59,167 And ifyou'd like to join me, uh, no big deal, all right? 419 00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:01,169 And if not, that's cool too. Okay? 420 00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:04,756 - Okay. - All right. 421 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,343 When you say, "next door," do you mean Chili's or Flinger's? 422 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,345 Flinger's. 423 00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:12,555 Okay. 424 00:27:12,723 --> 00:27:18,269 What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the customers... 425 00:27:18,354 --> 00:27:20,271 and you bring them down to the software engineers. 426 00:27:20,356 --> 00:27:22,315 Yes. Y-Yes. That's-- That's right. 427 00:27:22,399 --> 00:27:24,275 Well, then I just have to ask... 428 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:29,197 why couldn't the customers just take them directly to the software people, huh? 429 00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:32,742 Well, I'll tell you why. 430 00:27:32,826 --> 00:27:37,580 Uh, because... engineers are not good at dealing with customers. 431 00:27:37,665 --> 00:27:39,582 Uh-huh. 432 00:27:39,667 --> 00:27:45,004 So, you physically take the specs from the customer? 433 00:27:45,089 --> 00:27:47,215 Well-- 434 00:27:48,634 --> 00:27:51,844 No. My secretary does that, or they're faxed. 435 00:27:51,929 --> 00:27:53,513 Huh. 436 00:27:53,597 --> 00:27:56,474 So then you must physically bring them to the software people. 437 00:27:56,558 --> 00:28:00,103 Well... no. 438 00:28:00,187 --> 00:28:02,855 I mean, sometimes. 439 00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:04,399 Ah. 440 00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:08,403 What would you say you do here? 441 00:28:08,487 --> 00:28:11,114 Well, look, I already told you. 442 00:28:11,198 --> 00:28:15,243 I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to. 443 00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:18,955 I have people skills. I am good at dealing with people! 444 00:28:19,039 --> 00:28:22,917 Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people? 445 00:28:23,001 --> 00:28:25,294 l-- 446 00:28:30,050 --> 00:28:31,968 Let's see. 447 00:28:32,052 --> 00:28:35,596 You are Michael... 448 00:28:37,057 --> 00:28:39,684 - Bolton? - Yeah. 449 00:28:40,978 --> 00:28:44,021 - Is that your real name? - Yeah. 450 00:28:46,483 --> 00:28:48,359 Are you any relation to the pop singer? 451 00:28:48,444 --> 00:28:52,071 - No, it's-- it's just a coincidence. - I'll be honest with you. 452 00:28:52,156 --> 00:28:55,742 - I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. - Me too. 453 00:28:55,826 --> 00:29:00,204 I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman." 454 00:29:00,289 --> 00:29:02,206 But you must really love his music, huh? 455 00:29:02,291 --> 00:29:05,084 [ Men Chuckle ] 456 00:29:05,169 --> 00:29:07,086 Yeah, he's-- he's-- he's pretty-- 457 00:29:07,171 --> 00:29:09,922 - He's pretty good, I guess. - You're goddamn right, he is. 458 00:29:10,007 --> 00:29:11,966 - [ Men Laugh ] - Right. 459 00:29:12,050 --> 00:29:14,886 So, tell me. What's your favorite song of his? 460 00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:17,305 Mmm-- 461 00:29:18,682 --> 00:29:21,058 [ Clears Throat ] I don't-- I don't know. 462 00:29:21,143 --> 00:29:24,479 [ Chuckles ] I mean, I guess I sort of like them all. 463 00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:27,690 That's a riot. I'm the exact same way. 464 00:29:27,775 --> 00:29:30,526 But it must be twice as hard for you, being having the same name as him. 465 00:29:30,611 --> 00:29:33,488 I celebrate the guy's entire catalog. 466 00:29:33,572 --> 00:29:36,073 Anyway, let's get down to business, Michael. 467 00:29:36,158 --> 00:29:38,326 You know, you can just call me Mike. 468 00:29:43,957 --> 00:29:46,209 - Hi. - Hey. 469 00:29:48,128 --> 00:29:51,047 I wonder if I'm allowed to, uh, wear this in here. 470 00:29:51,131 --> 00:29:56,010 I think it'll be okay. Would you like to sit down? 471 00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:58,513 Okay. 472 00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:01,182 [ Sighs ] 473 00:30:01,266 --> 00:30:05,102 Wow! This place is really... nice. 474 00:30:05,187 --> 00:30:07,480 Yeah. Is it? 475 00:30:07,564 --> 00:30:09,774 Yeah, my God, compared to Chotchkie's! 476 00:30:09,858 --> 00:30:12,109 I like the uniforms better, anyway. 477 00:30:12,194 --> 00:30:14,153 I like yours. 478 00:30:14,238 --> 00:30:16,239 Ugh! 479 00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:21,202 - "We're not in Kansas anymore." - [ Scoffs ] 480 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:24,831 Yeah, really. [ Chuckles ] 481 00:30:24,915 --> 00:30:27,625 It's on your-- 482 00:30:27,709 --> 00:30:31,838 Ohh! Yeah. That's-- That's, uh-- 483 00:30:31,922 --> 00:30:35,842 - That's one of my-- my pieces of flair. - What's a piece of flair? 484 00:30:35,926 --> 00:30:39,428 Oh, it's, uh, where, you know, like these suspenders... 485 00:30:39,513 --> 00:30:42,265 and, uh, the buttons are all sort of-- 486 00:30:42,349 --> 00:30:46,894 We're actually required to wear, um, 1 5 pieces of flair. 487 00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:49,188 It's really stupid, actually. 488 00:30:49,273 --> 00:30:51,983 - Do you get to pick 'em yourself? - Yeah, yeah, we do. 489 00:30:52,067 --> 00:30:54,235 Although I didn't actually choose these. 490 00:30:54,319 --> 00:30:57,572 I just sort of grabbed, you know, 1 5 buttons and just-- 491 00:30:57,656 --> 00:31:00,283 I don't even know what they say. You know, I don't really care. 492 00:31:00,367 --> 00:31:02,660 I don't really like talking about my flair. 493 00:31:02,744 --> 00:31:04,745 - Okay. - So... 494 00:31:04,830 --> 00:31:08,499 - where do you, uh, work, Peter? - Initech. 495 00:31:08,584 --> 00:31:10,626 And, yeah, what-- what do you do there? 496 00:31:11,837 --> 00:31:13,754 I sit in a cubicle... 497 00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:16,465 and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. 498 00:31:17,968 --> 00:31:21,304 - What's that? - Well, see, they wrote all this bank software... 499 00:31:21,388 --> 00:31:25,308 and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. 500 00:31:25,392 --> 00:31:28,144 So, like, 98 instead of 1 998. 501 00:31:28,228 --> 00:31:32,064 Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh-- 502 00:31:32,149 --> 00:31:34,609 It doesn't really matter. 503 00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:37,486 I, uh-- I don't like myjob, and, uh... 504 00:31:37,571 --> 00:31:39,614 I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. 505 00:31:40,908 --> 00:31:43,534 - You're just not gonna go? - Yeah. 506 00:31:43,619 --> 00:31:47,121 - Won't you get fired? - I don't know. 507 00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:50,583 But I really don't like it and, uh, I'm not gonna go. 508 00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,877 What, so you're gonna quit? 509 00:31:52,961 --> 00:31:57,715 Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh-- I'm just gonna stop going. 510 00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:03,429 Uh, when did you decide all ofthat? 511 00:32:03,513 --> 00:32:05,431 - About an hour ago. - Oh, really. 512 00:32:05,515 --> 00:32:08,100 - Yeah. - About an hour ago. 513 00:32:08,185 --> 00:32:10,061 So you're gonna get anotherjob? 514 00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:12,271 I don't think I'd like anotherjob. 515 00:32:12,356 --> 00:32:16,192 Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and-- 516 00:32:16,276 --> 00:32:18,903 You know, I've never really liked paying bills. 517 00:32:18,987 --> 00:32:21,322 I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. 518 00:32:22,658 --> 00:32:25,701 Uh, well, so what do you wanna do? 519 00:32:25,786 --> 00:32:27,828 I wanna take you out to dinner... 520 00:32:27,913 --> 00:32:30,164 and then I want to go back to my apartment and watch Kung Fu 521 00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:32,500 Do you ever watch Kung Fu? 522 00:32:33,669 --> 00:32:36,295 - Ilove Kung Fu. - Channel 39. 523 00:32:36,380 --> 00:32:39,674 - Totally. - You should come over and watch KungFu tonight. 524 00:32:39,758 --> 00:32:41,676 - Okay. - Great. 525 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,678 Okay. Can we order lunch first? 526 00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:45,388 - Yeah. - Okay. 527 00:32:45,597 --> 00:32:48,641 [ Muttering ] 528 00:32:52,896 --> 00:32:54,772 [ Indistinct Conversation ] 529 00:32:56,191 --> 00:32:58,234 Not working out. 530 00:33:00,862 --> 00:33:03,072 Took a stapler off my desk-- 531 00:33:03,156 --> 00:33:05,366 [ Continues, Indistinct ] 532 00:33:07,035 --> 00:33:09,662 [ All Laughing ] 533 00:33:09,746 --> 00:33:12,665 Anyway, sounds great, Bob. See you in a few. 534 00:33:15,335 --> 00:33:17,586 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 535 00:33:17,671 --> 00:33:20,715 - I'm sorry? - Um, I'm going to have to ask you... 536 00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:23,009 to go ahead and move your desk again. 537 00:33:23,093 --> 00:33:25,553 - Eh-- What? No. - So, ifyou could go ahead... 538 00:33:25,637 --> 00:33:28,264 and get it as far back against that wall as possible... 539 00:33:28,348 --> 00:33:31,183 - that would be great. - No, no, because I was-- 540 00:33:31,268 --> 00:33:33,269 - I was told I no longer-- - That way, we'll have some room... 541 00:33:33,353 --> 00:33:35,688 for some ofthese boxes and things we nEED to put in here. 542 00:33:35,772 --> 00:33:37,898 - There's no room. - And, uh-- 543 00:33:37,983 --> 00:33:40,776 Oh. Oh, there it is. 544 00:33:40,861 --> 00:33:44,196 - What? - Here, let me just go ahead and get that from you. 545 00:33:44,281 --> 00:33:47,575 - [ Moans ] - Great. 546 00:33:47,659 --> 00:33:50,745 - [ Whimpering ] - So ifyou could just get to that... 547 00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:54,874 as soon as possible, that would be terrific. Mm-kay? 548 00:33:54,958 --> 00:33:57,668 - Thanks a bunch, Milton. Good-bye. - But-- 549 00:33:57,753 --> 00:34:00,796 Well, okay, but... 550 00:34:00,881 --> 00:34:03,299 I could set the building on fire. 551 00:34:06,470 --> 00:34:08,387 - Peter. - Michael. 552 00:34:08,472 --> 00:34:11,766 What the hell's going on, man? I thought you were gonna come in here and start shooting. 553 00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:15,186 No. I just came to get my address book. I'm not gonna stay. 554 00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:17,938 - I got a phone number, Mike, that I don't wanna lose. - What? 555 00:34:18,023 --> 00:34:20,483 Peter, you're in deep shit. You were supposed to come in on Saturday. 556 00:34:20,567 --> 00:34:24,945 - What were you doing? - Michael, I did nothing. 557 00:34:25,030 --> 00:34:29,408 I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be. 558 00:34:29,493 --> 00:34:32,119 I hope you have a better story than that for Lumbergh. 559 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:34,747 You're supposed to be having your interview right now with the consultants. 560 00:34:34,831 --> 00:34:37,166 - The who? - The consultants. 561 00:34:37,250 --> 00:34:39,168 What has gotten into you? 562 00:34:40,504 --> 00:34:44,423 Oh, yeah. Right. 563 00:34:44,508 --> 00:34:46,759 Wait, Peter. Peter. You gotta postpone it, man. 564 00:34:46,843 --> 00:34:48,761 Tell 'em you've been sick. Make something up. 565 00:34:48,845 --> 00:34:50,846 Oh, no way. No, I feel great. 566 00:34:50,931 --> 00:34:53,182 It's the best day of my life. 567 00:34:54,684 --> 00:34:57,311 Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons. 568 00:34:57,395 --> 00:34:59,939 - Uh-huh. - Ah, there you are. 569 00:35:00,023 --> 00:35:02,441 We were just talking about you. You must be Peter Gibbons. 570 00:35:02,526 --> 00:35:06,112 Uh-huh. Terrific. I'm Bob Slydell. This is my associate Bob Porter. 571 00:35:06,196 --> 00:35:08,114 Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. 572 00:35:08,198 --> 00:35:12,118 Why don't you go ahead and grab a seat and join us for a minute or two. 573 00:35:12,202 --> 00:35:15,704 You see, what we're actually trying to do here is we're just-- 574 00:35:15,789 --> 00:35:19,291 We're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work. 575 00:35:19,376 --> 00:35:24,713 So, ifyou would, would you walk us through a typical day for you? 576 00:35:25,715 --> 00:35:27,633 - Yeah. - Great. 577 00:35:27,717 --> 00:35:31,137 Well, I generally come in at least 1 5 minutes late. 578 00:35:31,221 --> 00:35:34,140 Uh, I use the side door. 579 00:35:34,224 --> 00:35:36,559 That way Lumbergh can't see me. 580 00:35:36,643 --> 00:35:38,602 And, uh-- And after that... 581 00:35:38,687 --> 00:35:40,855 I just sort of space out for about an hour. 582 00:35:40,939 --> 00:35:44,650 - Uh, "space out"? - Yeah. 583 00:35:44,734 --> 00:35:48,070 I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. 584 00:35:48,155 --> 00:35:52,241 I do that for, uh, probably another hour after lunch too. 585 00:35:52,325 --> 00:35:55,828 I'd say in a given week, I probably only do about 1 5 minutes... 586 00:35:55,912 --> 00:35:58,622 of real, actual work. 587 00:36:00,375 --> 00:36:03,169 Uh, Peter, would you be a good sport... 588 00:36:03,253 --> 00:36:06,547 and indulge us and just... tell us a little more? 589 00:36:06,631 --> 00:36:11,719 Oh, yeah. Let me tell you something about T.P.S. reports. 590 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:13,721 [ Chuckles ] 591 00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:18,851 The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care. 592 00:36:18,935 --> 00:36:20,853 Don't-- Don't care? 593 00:36:20,937 --> 00:36:23,564 It's a problem of motivation, all right? 594 00:36:23,648 --> 00:36:27,067 Now, if I work my ass off and Initech ships a dew extra units... 595 00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:30,571 I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? 596 00:36:30,655 --> 00:36:33,282 And here's something else, Bob. 597 00:36:33,366 --> 00:36:35,284 I have eight different bosees right now. 598 00:36:35,368 --> 00:36:37,620 - I beg your pardon? Eight? - Eight bosses Eight, Bob. 599 00:36:37,704 --> 00:36:41,040 So that means that when I make a mistake... 600 00:36:41,124 --> 00:36:44,126 I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. 601 00:36:44,211 --> 00:36:47,504 That's my only real morivation is not to be hassled. 602 00:36:47,589 --> 00:36:49,506 That and the fear of losing myjob. 603 00:36:49,591 --> 00:36:53,636 But you know, Bob, that'll only make someone workjust hard enough not to get fired. 604 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:56,513 Would you bear with me forjust a second, please? 605 00:36:56,598 --> 00:36:58,641 Okay. 606 00:36:59,726 --> 00:37:01,644 What if-- and believe me... 607 00:37:01,728 --> 00:37:04,730 this is so hypothetical-- 608 00:37:04,814 --> 00:37:08,567 but what ifyou were offered some kind of a stock oprion... 609 00:37:08,652 --> 00:37:10,569 equity-sharing program? 610 00:37:10,654 --> 00:37:12,821 - Would that do anything for you? - I don't know. I guess. 611 00:37:12,906 --> 00:37:17,368 Listen, I'm gonna go. Uh, it's been really nice talking to both ofyou guys. 612 00:37:17,452 --> 00:37:21,247 Absolutely. The pleasure's all on this side ofthe table, trust me. 613 00:37:21,331 --> 00:37:24,750 Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well. 614 00:37:24,834 --> 00:37:27,711 - Okay. Great. Wow. - Thanks a lot. 615 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:37,596 So, Peter, what's happening? 616 00:37:37,681 --> 00:37:39,723 Listen, uh-- 617 00:37:46,523 --> 00:37:48,941 Joanna, would you come here a minute, please? 618 00:37:49,025 --> 00:37:50,943 Yeah. 619 00:37:51,027 --> 00:37:55,030 I'm sorry I was late, but I was having lunch and I, uh-- 620 00:37:55,115 --> 00:37:57,449 We need to talk about your flair. 621 00:37:57,534 --> 00:38:01,829 Really? I-I have 1 5 pieces on. I also-- 622 00:38:01,913 --> 00:38:06,375 - Well, 1 5 is the minimum, okay? - Oh. Okay. 623 00:38:06,459 --> 00:38:09,003 Now, you know, it's up to you whether or not... 624 00:38:09,087 --> 00:38:11,463 you wanna just do the bare minimum or, uh-- 625 00:38:11,548 --> 00:38:16,176 Well, like Brian, for example, has 37 pieces of flair on today. 626 00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:19,930 - And a terrific smile. - Okay, so you want me to wear more? 627 00:38:21,808 --> 00:38:23,851 - Look, Joanna-- - Yeah? 628 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:25,978 People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay? 629 00:38:26,062 --> 00:38:28,939 They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. 630 00:38:29,024 --> 00:38:31,734 Okay? That's what the flair's about. It's about fun. 631 00:38:31,818 --> 00:38:35,070 Yeah. Okay, so more then, yeah? 632 00:38:36,823 --> 00:38:40,034 Look, we want you to express yourself. Okay? 633 00:38:40,118 --> 00:38:44,496 Now, ifyou feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. 634 00:38:44,581 --> 00:38:49,376 But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that. Okay? 635 00:38:50,754 --> 00:38:52,713 You do wanna express yourself, don't you? 636 00:38:53,757 --> 00:38:56,342 - Y-Yeah. - Okay, great, great. 637 00:38:56,426 --> 00:38:58,427 That's all I ask. 638 00:38:58,511 --> 00:39:00,095 Okay. 639 00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:05,017 Right, so there's three more people we can easily lose. 640 00:39:05,101 --> 00:39:08,270 And then there's Tom Smykowski. 641 00:39:08,355 --> 00:39:10,314 He's useless. 642 00:39:10,398 --> 00:39:13,609 - Gone. - Sounds good to me. 643 00:39:13,693 --> 00:39:17,363 Here's a peculiar-- Uh, Milton Waddams. 644 00:39:17,447 --> 00:39:19,323 - Who's he? - You know, squirrely-looking guy. 645 00:39:19,407 --> 00:39:21,408 - Mumbles a lot. - Oh, yeah. 646 00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:25,954 Yeah, we-- we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here. 647 00:39:26,039 --> 00:39:29,792 I looked into it more deeply, and I found that apparently what happened... 648 00:39:29,876 --> 00:39:33,712 is that he was laid off five years ago, and no one ever told him about it. 649 00:39:33,797 --> 00:39:37,633 But through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck. 650 00:39:37,717 --> 00:39:40,552 So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. 651 00:39:40,637 --> 00:39:43,138 - Great. - So, uh, Milton has been let go. 652 00:39:43,223 --> 00:39:45,391 Well, just a second there, professor. 653 00:39:45,475 --> 00:39:49,269 We, uh-- We fixed the glitch... 654 00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:51,397 so he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore... 655 00:39:51,481 --> 00:39:53,899 so it'll just work itself out naturally. 656 00:39:53,983 --> 00:39:56,318 We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. 657 00:39:56,403 --> 00:39:58,320 The problem is solved from your end. 658 00:39:58,405 --> 00:40:03,033 Um, I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. 659 00:40:03,118 --> 00:40:05,911 Now, we had a chance to meet this young man... 660 00:40:05,995 --> 00:40:08,122 and, boy, that's just a straight shooter... 661 00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:10,124 with upper management written all over him. 662 00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:12,960 [ Inhales ] Ooh. 663 00:40:13,044 --> 00:40:15,921 Yeah. Um-- 664 00:40:16,005 --> 00:40:19,508 I'm going to have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there. 665 00:40:19,592 --> 00:40:22,136 Yeah, uh, he's been real flaky lately... 666 00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:26,306 and I'm just not sure that he's the caliber person... 667 00:40:26,391 --> 00:40:28,308 that we would want for upper management. 668 00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:33,021 He's also been having some problems with his T.P.S. reports. 669 00:40:34,023 --> 00:40:36,483 I'll handle this. 670 00:40:36,568 --> 00:40:38,944 We feel... 671 00:40:39,028 --> 00:40:40,946 that the problem isn't with Peter. 672 00:40:41,030 --> 00:40:42,948 Mm-mmm. 673 00:40:43,032 --> 00:40:46,702 It's that you haven't challenged him enough to get him really motivated. 674 00:40:46,786 --> 00:40:48,996 There it is. 675 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,665 Yeah, uh, well... 676 00:40:51,749 --> 00:40:54,001 I'm just not sure about that right now. 677 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:57,171 Yeah, Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here. 678 00:40:57,255 --> 00:41:00,215 How much time would you say you spend each week... 679 00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:02,718 dealing with these T.P.S. reports? 680 00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:10,017 Yeah. 681 00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:32,164 ♪ Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta ♪ 682 00:41:32,248 --> 00:41:34,541 ♪ A real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right ♪ 683 00:41:34,626 --> 00:41:37,419 ♪ A real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his mouth ♪ 684 00:41:37,504 --> 00:41:39,880 ♪ 'Cause real gangsta-ass niggas don't start fights ♪ 685 00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:43,258 ♪ And niggas always gotta high cap ♪ 686 00:41:43,343 --> 00:41:45,511 ♪ Showin' all his boys how he shot 'em ♪ 687 00:41:45,595 --> 00:41:48,180 ♪ But real gangsta-ass niggas don't flex nuts ♪ 688 00:41:48,264 --> 00:41:50,641 ♪ 'Cause real gangsta-ass niggas know they got 'em ♪ 689 00:41:50,725 --> 00:41:54,520 ♪ And everything's cool in the mind of a gangsta ♪ 690 00:41:54,604 --> 00:41:56,522 ♪ 'Cause gangsta-ass niggas think deep ♪ 691 00:41:56,606 --> 00:41:59,107 ♪ Up 365 a year, 24-7 ♪ 692 00:41:59,192 --> 00:42:02,152 - [ Indistinct ] - ♪ Real gangsta-ass niggas don't sleep ♪ 693 00:42:02,237 --> 00:42:04,321 ♪ And all I gotta say to you wannabe, gonna-be ♪ 694 00:42:04,405 --> 00:42:07,241 ♪ Cootchie-eatin', jealous-heart pranksters ♪ 695 00:42:07,325 --> 00:42:10,410 ♪ Is when the shit jumps up what you gon' do ♪ 696 00:42:10,495 --> 00:42:13,121 ♪ Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta ♪ 697 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,544 [ Lawrence ] Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel 9. 698 00:42:18,628 --> 00:42:20,796 It's the breast exams. Whoa! 699 00:42:34,227 --> 00:42:36,562 ♪ Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta ♪ 700 00:42:36,646 --> 00:42:38,981 - Hi, Peter. - ♪ Feedin' the poor and helpin' out with their bills ♪ 701 00:42:39,065 --> 00:42:42,359 - Hi, Dom. - ♪ Although I was born in Jamaica ♪ 702 00:42:42,443 --> 00:42:45,320 ♪ Now I'm in the U.S. making deals ♪ 703 00:42:45,405 --> 00:42:47,823 ♪ Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta ♪ 704 00:42:47,907 --> 00:42:50,075 ♪ I mean, one that you don't really know ♪ 705 00:42:50,159 --> 00:42:53,078 ♪ Riding around town in a drop-top Benz ♪ 706 00:42:53,162 --> 00:42:56,665 ♪ Hittin' switches in my black six-four ♪ 707 00:42:56,749 --> 00:42:58,917 ♪ Now gangsta-ass niggas come in all shapes and colors ♪ 708 00:42:59,002 --> 00:43:01,878 - ♪ Some got killed in the past ♪ - Time for you to leave. 709 00:43:01,963 --> 00:43:03,922 ♪ But this gangsta here was a smart one ♪ 710 00:43:04,007 --> 00:43:05,966 ♪ Started living for the lord and I'll last ♪ 711 00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:09,636 ♪ Now all I gotta say to you wannabe, gonna-be ♪ 712 00:43:09,721 --> 00:43:12,055 ♪ Crumbsnatchin', cootchie-eatin' pranksters ♪ 713 00:43:12,140 --> 00:43:14,933 ♪ When the grim reaper steps up what the hell you gonna do ♪ 714 00:43:15,018 --> 00:43:17,561 ♪ Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta ♪♪ 715 00:43:28,197 --> 00:43:31,241 So, Peter, what's happening? 716 00:43:31,326 --> 00:43:34,620 Uh, now, are you going to go ahead... 717 00:43:34,704 --> 00:43:38,582 and have those T.P.S. reports for us this afternoon? 718 00:43:38,666 --> 00:43:40,917 No. 719 00:43:41,002 --> 00:43:43,128 Ah, yeah. 720 00:43:43,212 --> 00:43:48,717 So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk, hmm? 721 00:43:48,801 --> 00:43:51,803 Not right now, Lumbergh. I'm-- I'm kinda busy. 722 00:43:51,888 --> 00:43:56,892 In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead and just come back another time. 723 00:43:56,976 --> 00:43:59,519 I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple minutes. 724 00:44:01,230 --> 00:44:03,649 Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. 725 00:44:03,733 --> 00:44:05,901 Yeah, they called me at home. 726 00:44:10,573 --> 00:44:12,491 That sounds good, Peter. 727 00:44:12,575 --> 00:44:15,410 And, uh, we'll go ahead and get this all fixed up for you. 728 00:44:15,495 --> 00:44:17,412 Great. 729 00:44:17,497 --> 00:44:20,791 [ Muttering ] 730 00:44:22,919 --> 00:44:25,170 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 731 00:44:25,254 --> 00:44:28,757 I was-- I-I— I didn't receive my paycheck this week. 732 00:44:28,841 --> 00:44:33,428 Uh, you're going to have to talk to Payroll about that. 733 00:44:33,513 --> 00:44:35,472 I did and they said-- 734 00:44:35,556 --> 00:44:40,477 Milt, we're going to need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage "B." 735 00:44:40,561 --> 00:44:44,022 - No, I-I was told I could not-- - We have some new people coming in... 736 00:44:44,107 --> 00:44:46,483 - No. There's-- - and we nEED all the space we can get. 737 00:44:46,567 --> 00:44:49,236 - But there's no space-- - So ifyou could just go ahead... 738 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,490 - and pack up your stuff, and move it down there... - [ Stammering ] 739 00:44:53,574 --> 00:44:56,493 - that would be terrific-- mm-kay? - I was told I could stay-- 740 00:44:56,577 --> 00:44:58,620 Excuse me. 741 00:44:58,705 --> 00:45:04,251 I believe you have my stapler, please. Mmm. 742 00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:06,628 Looks like you've been missing a lot ofwork lately. 743 00:45:06,713 --> 00:45:10,215 - I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob. - [ Laughing ] 744 00:45:10,299 --> 00:45:13,385 - Good one. - Oh, that's terrific, Peter. 745 00:45:13,469 --> 00:45:16,555 I-I'm sure you've-- you've heard some ofthe rumors... 746 00:45:16,639 --> 00:45:19,891 circulating around the hallways about how we're going to be doing... 747 00:45:19,976 --> 00:45:22,602 a little "housecleaning" with some ofthe software people. 748 00:45:22,687 --> 00:45:25,856 Well, Bob, I have heard that, and you gotta do what you gotta do. 749 00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:27,941 We're gonna be getting rid ofthese people here. 750 00:45:28,025 --> 00:45:31,403 First, Mr. Samir Naga-- 751 00:45:31,487 --> 00:45:33,864 - He-- He-- - Naga-- 752 00:45:33,948 --> 00:45:37,367 - Naga-- Not gonna work here anymore anyway. - [ Laughing ] 753 00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:40,871 And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him. 754 00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:42,622 You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael? 755 00:45:42,707 --> 00:45:45,459 Ah, yeah, we're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates. 756 00:45:45,543 --> 00:45:47,461 Farm some work out to Singapore. That's the usual deal. 757 00:45:47,545 --> 00:45:50,922 - It's standard operating procedure. - Do they know this yet? 758 00:45:51,007 --> 00:45:53,341 No. No, of course not. 759 00:45:53,426 --> 00:45:56,303 We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. 760 00:45:56,387 --> 00:45:59,222 Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident... 761 00:45:59,307 --> 00:46:01,892 ifyou do it at the end ofthe week. 762 00:46:01,976 --> 00:46:05,228 Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position... 763 00:46:05,313 --> 00:46:10,192 to have as many as four people working right underneath you. 764 00:46:10,276 --> 00:46:13,445 - This is a big promotion, Pete. - Iy's huge. 765 00:46:13,529 --> 00:46:17,032 So you're going to fire Michael and Samir and you're going to give me more money? 766 00:46:19,035 --> 00:46:22,996 - Hmm? - Wow! 767 00:46:23,206 --> 00:46:27,125 Hmm. Yeah. That's it. 768 00:46:27,210 --> 00:46:30,128 That's exactly what I need. Uh-huh. Give it to me. 769 00:46:30,213 --> 00:46:32,631 Cme on, you little fucker. Let's go. That's what I need. 770 00:46:32,715 --> 00:46:35,842 Let's do that. Let's do exactly that, you little fuck-- 771 00:46:35,927 --> 00:46:38,220 - Michael. - Hey. 772 00:46:38,304 --> 00:46:40,889 Listen to me. 773 00:46:42,225 --> 00:46:44,309 What are you doing tonight? 774 00:46:44,393 --> 00:46:48,021 Michael, there comes a point in a man's life... 775 00:46:48,105 --> 00:46:51,733 and maybe that time for you is now... 776 00:46:51,818 --> 00:46:55,320 when it doesn't hurt to start thinking about the future. 777 00:46:55,404 --> 00:46:59,616 Uh, no offense there, Peter, but speak for yourself there, sport. 778 00:46:59,700 --> 00:47:02,577 I'm not the one who's been flakin' out at work. 779 00:47:02,662 --> 00:47:06,498 I know you had this religious experience or whatever the hell that was... 780 00:47:06,582 --> 00:47:10,252 but you'd better snap out of it and get your shit together, or you're gonna get canned. 781 00:47:10,336 --> 00:47:13,839 Yeah, and, uh-- and l-- Listen. 782 00:47:13,923 --> 00:47:16,007 That virus you're always talking about, right? 783 00:47:16,092 --> 00:47:19,469 The one that could rip offthe company for a bunch of money. 784 00:47:19,554 --> 00:47:22,472 - Yeah, what about it? - Well, how does it work? 785 00:47:22,557 --> 00:47:25,183 It's pretty brilliant. 786 00:47:25,268 --> 00:47:28,144 What it does is, every time there's a bank transaction where interest is computed... 787 00:47:28,229 --> 00:47:30,397 you know, thousands a day, the computer ends up... 788 00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:33,024 with these fractions of a cent, which it usually rounds off. 789 00:47:33,109 --> 00:47:37,487 What this does is, it takes those little remainders and puts it into an account. 790 00:47:37,572 --> 00:47:40,240 - This sounds familiar. - Yeah, they did it in Superman III. 791 00:47:40,324 --> 00:47:43,243 - Right, uh-- - An underrated movie, actually. 792 00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:46,705 And a bunch of hackers that did it in the '70s as well. One of them got busted. 793 00:47:46,789 --> 00:47:49,291 - Well, so they check for this now. - No, here's the thing. 794 00:47:49,375 --> 00:47:52,377 Initech's so backed up with all the software we're updating for the year 2000... 795 00:47:52,461 --> 00:47:54,337 they'd never notice. 796 00:47:54,422 --> 00:47:56,464 You're right. 797 00:47:56,549 --> 00:47:59,384 And even ifthey wanted to, they couldn't check all that code. 798 00:47:59,468 --> 00:48:01,970 Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses. 799 00:48:02,054 --> 00:48:05,849 So, Michael, whay's to stop you from doing this? 800 00:48:05,933 --> 00:48:08,435 It's not worth the risk. I got a good job. 801 00:48:09,854 --> 00:48:12,939 What ifyou didn't have a good job? 802 00:48:13,149 --> 00:48:15,025 Cock-gobblers! 803 00:48:18,112 --> 00:48:21,489 Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place. 804 00:48:21,574 --> 00:48:24,492 And you, you haven't been showin' up, and you get to keep yourjob. 805 00:48:24,577 --> 00:48:27,495 - Actually, I'm being promoted. - What? 806 00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:31,416 I know, Michael. It's completely unfair. 807 00:48:31,500 --> 00:48:34,377 And I realized someyhing today. 808 00:48:34,462 --> 00:48:37,255 It's notjust about me and my dream of doing nothing. 809 00:48:37,340 --> 00:48:41,092 It's about all of us together. 810 00:48:41,177 --> 00:48:43,470 I don't know what happened to me at that hypnoyherapist... 811 00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:46,932 and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now... 812 00:48:47,016 --> 00:48:49,601 but when I saw that fat man keel over and die-- 813 00:48:49,685 --> 00:48:52,896 Michael, we don't have a lot oftime on this earth. 814 00:48:52,980 --> 00:48:55,649 We weren't meant to spend it this way. 815 00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:58,902 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles... 816 00:48:58,986 --> 00:49:02,364 staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms... 817 00:49:02,448 --> 00:49:06,952 and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements. 818 00:49:07,036 --> 00:49:09,454 I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music. 819 00:49:09,538 --> 00:49:13,166 Oh. That is not right, Michael. 820 00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:16,169 For five years now, you've worked your ass off at Initech... 821 00:49:16,253 --> 00:49:20,256 hoping for a promotion or some kind of profit-sharing or something. 822 00:49:20,341 --> 00:49:24,552 Five years ofyour mid-20s now gone. 823 00:49:24,637 --> 00:49:28,390 And you're gonna go in tomorrow, they're gonna throw you out on the street. 824 00:49:28,474 --> 00:49:30,433 You know why? 825 00:49:30,518 --> 00:49:34,896 So that Bill Lumbergh's stock will go up a quarter of a point. 826 00:49:34,981 --> 00:49:36,648 Ugh. 827 00:49:36,732 --> 00:49:38,817 Michael, let's make that stock go down... 828 00:49:38,901 --> 00:49:41,152 and let's take enough money out ofthat place... 829 00:49:41,237 --> 00:49:44,114 so that we never ever have to sit in a cubicle ever again. 830 00:49:45,616 --> 00:49:47,534 Your software works, right? 831 00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:50,036 Of course it works. That's not the point. 832 00:49:50,121 --> 00:49:52,914 Look, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to install it. 833 00:49:52,999 --> 00:49:55,500 I don't know the credit union's software well enough. Okay? 834 00:49:55,584 --> 00:49:57,043 Yeah. 835 00:49:57,128 --> 00:49:59,212 But Samir does. 836 00:49:59,296 --> 00:50:02,215 - But, Peter, that's not much money. - That's the beauty of it. 837 00:50:02,299 --> 00:50:05,719 Each withdrawal, that's a fraction of a cent. That's too small to notice. 838 00:50:05,803 --> 00:50:10,015 But a dew thousand withdrawals a day, you space it out over a couple ofyears... 839 00:50:10,099 --> 00:50:12,517 that's a few hundred thousand dollars. 840 00:50:12,601 --> 00:50:15,687 - It'slike Superman I II. - Superman IIl-- What-- 841 00:50:15,771 --> 00:50:17,689 Look, I have to leave now, okay? 842 00:50:17,773 --> 00:50:19,691 I have to get my ésumé ready. 843 00:50:19,775 --> 00:50:23,778 Get your résumé ready? For what? For another job where they can just fire you for no reason? 844 00:50:23,863 --> 00:50:25,530 That's right! If I'm lucky! 845 00:50:25,614 --> 00:50:30,744 I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? 846 00:50:30,828 --> 00:50:33,580 Yes, Peter! But I'm not going to do anything illegal. 847 00:50:33,664 --> 00:50:36,124 Illegal? Samir, this is America! 848 00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:38,793 Come on. Sit down. 849 00:50:38,878 --> 00:50:41,379 Come on. This isn't Riyadh. 850 00:50:41,464 --> 00:50:44,382 They're not gonna saw your hands off here, all right? 851 00:50:44,467 --> 00:50:47,385 The worst they would ever do is, they would put you, for a couple of months... 852 00:50:47,470 --> 00:50:50,305 into a white-collar, minimum-security resort. 853 00:50:50,389 --> 00:50:52,307 Shit, we should be so lucky! 854 00:50:52,391 --> 00:50:54,726 - Do you know they have conjugal visits there? - Really? 855 00:50:54,810 --> 00:50:57,145 - Yes. - [ Michael ] Shit. 856 00:50:57,229 --> 00:50:59,898 I'm a free man, I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. 857 00:50:59,982 --> 00:51:04,319 - So, what do you think? - This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir. 858 00:51:04,403 --> 00:51:07,072 Samir... 859 00:51:07,156 --> 00:51:10,075 you came here looking for a land of opportunity... 860 00:51:10,159 --> 00:51:13,286 and this is the knock ofthat opportunity. 861 00:51:13,370 --> 00:51:15,705 Tomorrow's your last day at Initech. 862 00:51:15,790 --> 00:51:19,417 You have two options: unemployment or early retirement. 863 00:51:19,502 --> 00:51:21,377 What's it gonna be? 864 00:51:21,462 --> 00:51:23,880 - I have a question. - Yes? 865 00:51:23,964 --> 00:51:27,634 In-- In these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? 866 00:51:27,718 --> 00:51:30,345 Yep. You sure can. 867 00:51:33,224 --> 00:51:35,141 Okay, I'll do it. 868 00:51:35,226 --> 00:51:38,144 - That's what I'm talking about when I talk about Amer-- - Peter? 869 00:51:38,229 --> 00:51:41,314 - How about we discuss the plan? - Okay, yeah. Good. Right. 870 00:51:41,398 --> 00:51:43,316 It works like a computer virus. 871 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:46,319 All we have to do is load it into the credit union mainframe, and it'll do the rest. 872 00:51:46,403 --> 00:51:49,322 Okay. You guys gey me that disk, and I'll take care of it from there. 873 00:51:49,406 --> 00:51:52,158 But listen, before we go any further, all right... 874 00:51:52,243 --> 00:51:54,702 we have to swear to God, Allah... 875 00:51:54,787 --> 00:51:56,788 that nobody knows about this but us. 876 00:51:56,872 --> 00:52:00,416 All right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody. 877 00:52:00,501 --> 00:52:02,460 - Of course. - Agreed. 878 00:52:02,545 --> 00:52:04,879 [ Lawrence ] Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone either! 879 00:52:04,964 --> 00:52:07,882 - What the fuck is that? - No, don't worry about him. He's cool. All right. 880 00:52:07,967 --> 00:52:09,425 Here's how I see it all going down. 881 00:52:09,969 --> 00:52:12,887 Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. 882 00:52:12,972 --> 00:52:16,224 - Thank you, Bob. - We'll get some people under you right away. 883 00:52:16,308 --> 00:52:18,226 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 884 00:52:18,310 --> 00:52:20,478 ♪♪ [ Rapper Chuckles ] 885 00:52:20,563 --> 00:52:22,647 [ Man ] ♪ It makes me wanna creep ♪ 886 00:52:22,731 --> 00:52:32,740 ♪ I got somethin' for your mind your body and your soul ♪ 887 00:52:32,825 --> 00:52:34,868 ♪ Yeah ♪ 888 00:52:34,952 --> 00:52:38,204 ♪ Damn, I'm such a "G" It's pathetic ♪ 889 00:52:38,289 --> 00:52:42,167 ♪ Here comes the big-headed nigga that's dippin' ♪ 890 00:52:42,251 --> 00:52:44,377 ♪ Sippin' on Courvoisier ♪ 891 00:52:44,461 --> 00:52:47,714 ♪ Goddamn I must have to floss today ♪ 892 00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:50,884 ♪ Now, pimpin' ain't easy but it's necessary ♪ 893 00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:54,512 ♪ So I'm chasin' bitches like Tom chased Jerry ♪ 894 00:52:54,597 --> 00:52:57,056 ♪ I put the pedal to the !flo-ah" ♪ 895 00:52:57,141 --> 00:53:00,476 ♪ In my two-toned Ford Explorer ♪ 896 00:53:00,561 --> 00:53:02,353 ♪ You know how it's done ♪ 897 00:53:02,438 --> 00:53:05,523 ♪ Sounds bumpin' Ain't that somethin' ♪ 898 00:53:05,608 --> 00:53:07,442 ♪Jumped on the 1 1 0 ♪ 899 00:53:07,526 --> 00:53:09,861 ♪ She's flyin' in the Blazer ♪ 900 00:53:09,945 --> 00:53:11,905 - [ Voice Slowed Down ] Hey, how's it goin'? - ♪ Like "Go, Speed Racer" ♪ 901 00:53:11,989 --> 00:53:15,950 ♪ But I ain't gon' chase her like Racer "X" ♪ 902 00:53:16,035 --> 00:53:20,622 ♪ But I won't flex till it's time to have sex ♪ 903 00:53:20,706 --> 00:53:22,832 ♪ So when you wanna get together ♪ 904 00:53:22,917 --> 00:53:25,418 ♪ 'Cause you know a nigga like me ♪ 905 00:53:25,502 --> 00:53:27,795 ♪ Is down for whatever ♪ 906 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,797 - [ Cell Door Slams ] - ♪ Damn ♪ 907 00:53:32,968 --> 00:53:36,221 [ Skipping ] ♪ Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-h ♪ 908 00:53:39,683 --> 00:53:42,227 ♪ Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-h ♪♪ 909 00:53:42,311 --> 00:53:45,355 - Well, that was easy. - Yeah, I guess it was. 910 00:53:45,439 --> 00:53:46,981 What'd you do with the c-- 911 00:53:47,191 --> 00:53:48,149 Hey, man. 912 00:53:49,151 --> 00:53:50,610 Oh, hey, Drew. 913 00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:53,613 - You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? - What, that he got laid off? 914 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:55,907 No, man. Check it out. 915 00:53:55,991 --> 00:53:58,660 [ Drew ] Last week, right after he found out he was getting laid off... 916 00:53:58,744 --> 00:54:01,829 he goes home and tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage. 917 00:54:01,914 --> 00:54:03,831 - [ Michael ] Is he dead? - [ Drew ] No, man. Check it out. 918 00:54:03,916 --> 00:54:06,584 That wife of his comes home early from work and catches him. 919 00:54:06,669 --> 00:54:09,587 - [ Coughs ] - So he tries to play it off like nothing happened. 920 00:54:09,672 --> 00:54:12,590 I was-- [ Coughs ] having some trouble with the shifter here. 921 00:54:12,675 --> 00:54:16,135 It's jammed, and I couldn't get it into drive. 922 00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:19,472 - I-I-I mean, reverse. - You okay, Tom? 923 00:54:19,556 --> 00:54:21,849 - [ Drew ] Then, as he's looking at her... - Yeah. 924 00:54:21,934 --> 00:54:24,936 - he decides he wants to live. [ Snickers ] - Yeah, I think I'm okay. 925 00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:28,648 - Right. - Seems to be working now. [ Chuckling ] 926 00:54:30,234 --> 00:54:32,151 See ya later, honey! 927 00:54:32,236 --> 00:54:34,654 Love ya! 928 00:54:34,738 --> 00:54:38,157 [ Drew ] But then, as soon as he backs out of his driveway-- 929 00:54:38,242 --> 00:54:41,661 Bam! He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver! 930 00:54:41,745 --> 00:54:43,663 - Is he okay? - Sort of. 931 00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:47,542 He broke both his wrists, legs, couple of ribs, his back. 932 00:54:47,626 --> 00:54:50,086 But he's gonna get a huge settlement out of this, like, seven figures. 933 00:54:50,170 --> 00:54:52,630 He's getting out ofthe hospital tomorrow. 934 00:54:52,715 --> 00:54:56,134 He's gonna throw a party this weekend to celebrate. We're all invited. 935 00:54:56,218 --> 00:54:59,053 I'm thinkin' I might take that new chick from Logistics. 936 00:54:59,138 --> 00:55:02,056 Things go well, I might be showin' her my "O" face. 937 00:55:02,141 --> 00:55:04,976 "Oh! Oh! Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. 938 00:55:05,060 --> 00:55:06,978 "Oh!" [ Chuckles ] 939 00:55:07,062 --> 00:55:10,315 Yeah. Right. See you guys there. 940 00:55:12,067 --> 00:55:15,069 Wow. Our last day at Initech. 941 00:55:16,488 --> 00:55:19,407 I can't believe they had Security escort us out. 942 00:55:19,491 --> 00:55:21,993 Like we're going to steal something. 943 00:55:23,245 --> 00:55:25,997 - I stole something. - Oh, yeah. Guess we all did. 944 00:55:26,081 --> 00:55:28,958 No, I stole something else. 945 00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:31,461 What did you steal? 946 00:55:33,255 --> 00:55:36,466 Call it a going-awaqy present. 947 00:55:36,550 --> 00:55:39,594 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 948 00:55:46,643 --> 00:55:48,644 [ Male Rapper ] ♪ Kill ♪ 949 00:55:52,107 --> 00:55:54,776 - ♪ Kill ♪ - ♪ Back up in yo1 ass with the resurrection ♪ 950 00:55:54,860 --> 00:55:57,862 ♪ It's the group harder than an erection that shows more affection ♪ 951 00:55:57,946 --> 00:56:00,490 ♪ They wanna ban us on Capitol Hill ♪ 952 00:56:00,574 --> 00:56:02,241 - ♪ 'Cause it's die, motherfuckers Die, motherfuckers, still ♪ - ♪ Still ♪ 953 00:56:02,326 --> 00:56:05,119 ♪ All along it was the ghetto Nothin' but the ghetto ♪ 954 00:56:05,204 --> 00:56:07,205 ♪ Takin' short steps One foot at a time ♪ 955 00:56:07,289 --> 00:56:09,749 ♪ And kept my head low and never let go ♪ 956 00:56:09,833 --> 00:56:11,751 ♪ 'Cause if I let go then I'd be spineless ♪ 957 00:56:11,835 --> 00:56:15,046 - ♪ I'm goin' insane ♪ - ♪ I think my mind just goes out of control ♪ 958 00:56:15,130 --> 00:56:17,006 ♪ You judge on subjects motherfuckers read about ♪ 959 00:56:17,091 --> 00:56:19,759 ♪ I touch on the shit that they be leavin' out ♪ 960 00:56:19,843 --> 00:56:22,553 ♪ I seen this motherfucker's .9 smokin', I seen it ♪ 961 00:56:22,638 --> 00:56:24,389 ♪ I bet you motherfuckers will too ♪ 962 00:56:24,473 --> 00:56:25,973 ♪ Because it's die, motherfuckers ♪ 963 00:56:26,058 --> 00:56:28,059 ♪ Die, motherfuckers still, fool ♪ 964 00:56:28,143 --> 00:56:31,354 - ♪ Die, motherfuckers, still, fool ♪ - ♪ Die, motherfuckers ♪ 965 00:56:31,438 --> 00:56:33,398 ♪ Die, motherfuckers still ♪ 966 00:56:33,482 --> 00:56:35,733 ♪ Die, motherfuckers Die, motherfuckers, still, fool ♪ 967 00:56:35,818 --> 00:56:36,984 ♪ Die, motherfuckers ♪ 968 00:56:37,069 --> 00:56:38,945 - ♪ Die, motherfuckers still ♪ - ♪ Kill ♪ 969 00:56:39,029 --> 00:56:40,947 ♪ Die, motherfuckers Die, motherfuckers, still, fool ♪ 970 00:56:41,031 --> 00:56:44,325 ♪ Die, motherfuckers Die, motherfuckers, still ♪ 971 00:56:44,410 --> 00:56:48,371 ♪ I-l-- I-l-- I think it's somethin' in the water, man ♪ 972 00:56:48,455 --> 00:56:49,580 ♪ I-Iy's gotta be in the water ♪ 973 00:56:49,665 --> 00:56:50,706 ♪ Oh, fuck ♪ 974 00:56:50,791 --> 00:56:52,792 ♪ Chuck's on a killin' spree again ♪ 975 00:56:52,876 --> 00:56:54,127 ♪ We guillotine for men ♪ 976 00:56:54,211 --> 00:56:57,004 ♪ I walk around town with a frown on my face ♪ 977 00:56:57,089 --> 00:56:59,215 ♪ Fuck the whole world fixin' to catch a murder case ♪ 978 00:56:59,299 --> 00:57:00,883 ♪ Gonna murder and rape ♪ 979 00:57:00,968 --> 00:57:03,219 ♪ May increase ifyou caught up in the world while it's dyin' ♪ 980 00:57:03,303 --> 00:57:06,139 [ Continues On Stereo ] ♪ I guarantee you fryin' 'Cause I am ♪ 981 00:57:06,223 --> 00:57:09,225 ♪ On the verge of knockin' motherfuckers out for no reason ♪ 982 00:57:09,309 --> 00:57:12,562 ♪ Once I get down there'll be no breathin' ♪♪ [ Fades ] 983 00:57:12,646 --> 00:57:14,605 [ Michael ] Who's got my keys? 984 00:57:14,690 --> 00:57:18,109 - I'm driving. Not you. - Everything is gonna be okay. All right? 985 00:57:18,193 --> 00:57:21,112 - Peter-- Peter-- - Okay? It's fun, and it's exciting. 986 00:57:21,196 --> 00:57:23,614 - Be serious. - I gotta go. All right? 987 00:57:23,699 --> 00:57:26,117 Joanna's coming over. All right? Don't worry. 988 00:57:26,201 --> 00:57:28,119 You're worrying. All right? 989 00:57:28,203 --> 00:57:31,456 Monday morning we're gonna check the account balance. Everything'll be okay. 990 00:57:31,540 --> 00:57:34,459 Don't miss Tom's barbecue. I'll see you there. All right? 991 00:57:34,543 --> 00:57:38,087 - Good night. - ♪ Back up in your ass with the resurrection ♪ 992 00:57:40,591 --> 00:57:43,509 Hey, what were you guys celebrating last night? 993 00:57:43,594 --> 00:57:48,139 Uh... I'm not really at liberty to talk about it. 994 00:57:50,184 --> 00:57:52,226 I really can't 995 00:57:55,397 --> 00:57:58,232 All right, so when the subroutine compounds the interest... 996 00:57:58,317 --> 00:58:01,903 it uses all these extra decimal places thatjust get rounded off. 997 00:58:01,987 --> 00:58:03,905 So we simplified the whole thing... 998 00:58:03,989 --> 00:58:07,575 and we just-- we round 'em all down and drop the remainder... 999 00:58:07,659 --> 00:58:09,911 into an account that we opened. 1000 00:58:09,995 --> 00:58:11,954 So, you're stealing. 1001 00:58:13,248 --> 00:58:15,166 Uh, no. You don't understand. 1002 00:58:15,250 --> 00:58:17,793 It's, uh-- It's very complicated. 1003 00:58:17,878 --> 00:58:21,881 It's, uh-- It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here. 1004 00:58:21,965 --> 00:58:25,301 And, uh, over time they add up to a lot. 1005 00:58:25,385 --> 00:58:29,180 Oh, okay. So, you're gonna make a lot of money, right? 1006 00:58:29,264 --> 00:58:31,599 - Yeah. - Right? That's not yours? 1007 00:58:31,683 --> 00:58:35,728 - Uh, well, it becomes ours. - How is that not stealing? 1008 00:58:38,690 --> 00:58:41,943 I don't think, uh-- I don't think that I'm explaining this very well. 1009 00:58:42,027 --> 00:58:44,570 - Um, the 7-Eleven, right? - Mm-hmm. 1010 00:58:44,655 --> 00:58:47,156 You'd take a penny from the tray. 1011 00:58:47,241 --> 00:58:50,576 - From the crippled children? - No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray. 1012 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:53,079 The-- You know, the pennies for everybody. 1013 00:58:53,163 --> 00:58:55,081 Oh. For everybod-- Okay. 1014 00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:57,583 Yeah, well, those are whole pennies. All right? 1015 00:58:57,668 --> 00:59:00,545 I'm just talking about fractions of a penny here. 1016 00:59:00,629 --> 00:59:04,382 Okay? But we do it from a much bigger tray a couple of million times. 1017 00:59:04,466 --> 00:59:06,384 So what's wrong with that? 1018 00:59:06,468 --> 00:59:09,345 - I don't know. Itjust seems wrong. - Iy's not wrong. 1019 00:59:09,429 --> 00:59:12,932 Initech is wrong. Initech is an evil corporation. 1020 00:59:13,016 --> 00:59:15,518 Chotchkie's is wrong. 1021 00:59:15,602 --> 00:59:19,438 Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and put on pieces of flair? 1022 00:59:19,523 --> 00:59:23,651 Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register. 1023 00:59:23,735 --> 00:59:26,654 Well, maybe you should. 1024 00:59:26,738 --> 00:59:29,991 You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. 1025 00:59:30,075 --> 00:59:32,743 What? 1026 00:59:32,828 --> 00:59:34,704 Look, we don't-- I-I— 1027 00:59:34,788 --> 00:59:37,415 We don't have to talk about this now. 1028 00:59:37,499 --> 00:59:39,959 - Let's just go to the barbecue. - Okay. 1029 00:59:42,462 --> 00:59:44,463 Michael! Samir! How you doin'? 1030 00:59:44,548 --> 00:59:46,966 - Hey, Tom. - Hello, Tom. 1031 00:59:47,050 --> 00:59:50,177 I'd like you to meet my lawyer, Rob Newhouse. 1032 00:59:50,262 --> 00:59:52,930 - Rob, Michael, Samir. - How you doing? 1033 00:59:53,015 --> 00:59:56,475 Peter! How are you? I'm glad you could make it. 1034 00:59:56,560 --> 01:00:00,146 Tom, hi. This is somebody I'd like you to meet. 1035 01:00:00,230 --> 01:00:03,899 - This is Joanna. - Hi. Forgive me for not getting up. 1036 01:00:04,943 --> 01:00:08,154 - [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] 1037 01:00:09,948 --> 01:00:11,782 [ Groaning ] 1038 01:00:11,867 --> 01:00:16,037 Uh-- Uh, Peter, come here a minute. I wanna show you something. 1039 01:00:17,456 --> 01:00:20,291 Well, what do you think? It's a prototype. 1040 01:00:20,375 --> 01:00:24,378 [ Peter ] Huh! Thay's exactly as you described it. 1041 01:00:24,463 --> 01:00:26,380 [ Chuckles ] 1042 01:00:26,465 --> 01:00:29,008 Uh, listen, I heard about your settlement. 1043 01:00:29,092 --> 01:00:31,552 - Congratulations. - Well, thanks, Peter. 1044 01:00:31,637 --> 01:00:35,640 You know, I'm glad you're here because I wanted to talk to you. 1045 01:00:35,724 --> 01:00:39,185 I know how you get depressed about yourjob and all. 1046 01:00:39,269 --> 01:00:43,356 I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. I used to be the same way. 1047 01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,274 - Really? - Sure! 1048 01:00:45,359 --> 01:00:49,528 Maybe I didn't whine as much, but I bet I hated myjob even more than you. 1049 01:00:49,613 --> 01:00:52,406 And I've been doing it for over 30 years. 1050 01:00:52,491 --> 01:00:55,409 - Wow. -Just remember. 1051 01:00:55,494 --> 01:00:57,703 Ifyou hang in there long enough... 1052 01:00:57,788 --> 01:01:00,706 good things can happen in this world. 1053 01:01:00,791 --> 01:01:03,417 I mean, look at me. [ Chuckling ] 1054 01:01:03,502 --> 01:01:05,252 Thanks, Tom. 1055 01:01:05,337 --> 01:01:08,214 Oh, sure. 1056 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:11,300 [ Chattering ] 1057 01:01:13,679 --> 01:01:16,597 Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. 1058 01:01:16,682 --> 01:01:19,600 A minimum-security prison is no picnic. 1059 01:01:19,685 --> 01:01:21,936 I have a client in there right now. 1060 01:01:22,020 --> 01:01:24,939 He says, the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day... 1061 01:01:25,023 --> 01:01:26,941 or become someone's bitch. 1062 01:01:27,025 --> 01:01:29,568 Then everything'll be all right. 1063 01:01:29,653 --> 01:01:31,320 Why do you ask, anyway? 1064 01:01:31,405 --> 01:01:33,864 Oh, no, we were just-- Sorry. Sorry. 1065 01:01:33,949 --> 01:01:36,117 [ Nervous Chuckle ] 1066 01:01:41,039 --> 01:01:43,290 - Hey, Peter. - Drew. 1067 01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:45,418 That's somethin' about ol' Smykowski, huh? 1068 01:01:45,502 --> 01:01:48,504 - Yeah. - Lucky bastard. 1069 01:01:48,588 --> 01:01:51,799 Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's? 1070 01:01:51,883 --> 01:01:53,801 Yeah. 1071 01:01:53,885 --> 01:01:55,803 Who's she here with? 1072 01:01:55,887 --> 01:01:58,305 She's with me. 1073 01:01:58,390 --> 01:02:00,224 - Really? - Yeah. 1074 01:02:00,308 --> 01:02:02,893 All right, Peter. Ooh! Ooh! 1075 01:02:02,978 --> 01:02:04,895 - Right on. - [ Chuckling ] 1076 01:02:04,980 --> 01:02:07,481 Make sure you wear a rubber, dude. 1077 01:02:09,317 --> 01:02:11,235 Why is that, Drew? 1078 01:02:11,319 --> 01:02:13,738 Are you kidding me? She gets around. 1079 01:02:13,822 --> 01:02:15,823 [ Chuckles ] All right? 1080 01:02:16,908 --> 01:02:18,826 She does, does she? 1081 01:02:18,910 --> 01:02:21,495 Oh, yeah, like a record. [ Laughs ] 1082 01:02:22,664 --> 01:02:24,582 Like with who? 1083 01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:26,625 Oh, let's see, uh-- [ Scoffs ] 1084 01:02:27,669 --> 01:02:30,588 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. [ Snickering ] 1085 01:02:30,672 --> 01:02:32,590 Let me see who else. 1086 01:02:32,674 --> 01:02:34,842 Uh, Dick Rennie-- 1087 01:02:34,926 --> 01:02:37,344 - Lumbergh? - Eric Louis-- 1088 01:02:37,429 --> 01:02:40,347 So, what if-- Oh. What ifyou get caught? 1089 01:02:40,432 --> 01:02:43,350 I just don't know ifthis was such a good idea. 1090 01:02:43,435 --> 01:02:47,104 Yeah, well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh. 1091 01:02:47,189 --> 01:02:49,106 What? 1092 01:02:49,191 --> 01:02:50,941 What are you-- 1093 01:02:51,026 --> 01:02:52,943 Oh, right. Lumbergh. 1094 01:02:53,028 --> 01:02:54,487 Aah! 1095 01:02:54,571 --> 01:02:57,698 Oh, God. Lumbergh. 1096 01:02:57,783 --> 01:02:59,617 Peter, what is wrong with you? 1097 01:02:59,701 --> 01:03:02,953 That was, like two years ago. What, did you know him? 1098 01:03:03,038 --> 01:03:05,581 Yeah, I know him. I know him. He's my boss. 1099 01:03:05,665 --> 01:03:09,126 He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss! 1100 01:03:09,211 --> 01:03:11,462 Oh, he's not that disgusting. 1101 01:03:11,546 --> 01:03:15,007 He represents all that is soulless and wrong! 1102 01:03:16,009 --> 01:03:18,302 - And you slept with him. - Hey! 1103 01:03:18,386 --> 01:03:20,262 That is none ofyour business. Okay? 1104 01:03:20,347 --> 01:03:23,307 I didn't ask you who you slept with before we were together. 1105 01:03:23,391 --> 01:03:26,560 - I don't care. - Well, I didn't think you slept with guys like Lumbergh! 1106 01:03:26,645 --> 01:03:29,021 Listen to you. 1107 01:03:29,105 --> 01:03:32,817 Who do you think you are? How dare you judge me. 1108 01:03:32,901 --> 01:03:35,820 I mean, what are you? Some kind of angel here? 1109 01:03:35,904 --> 01:03:38,614 No, you're just this penny-stealing... 1110 01:03:38,698 --> 01:03:41,325 wannabe criminal... m-man. 1111 01:03:41,409 --> 01:03:43,327 Yeah, well, that may be... 1112 01:03:43,411 --> 01:03:45,663 but at least I never slept with Lumbergh. 1113 01:03:45,747 --> 01:03:48,666 Okay, that's-- I'm done. I wanna get out of the car. 1114 01:03:48,750 --> 01:03:50,668 - Fine. - Stop! 1115 01:03:50,752 --> 01:03:53,295 Just call me when you grow up. 1116 01:03:53,380 --> 01:03:55,756 You know, that's never gonna happen. So just don't call me. 1117 01:03:55,841 --> 01:03:58,342 Say hello to Lumbergh for me! 1118 01:04:04,766 --> 01:04:06,684 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1119 01:04:06,768 --> 01:04:08,686 Lumbergh fucked her. 1120 01:04:08,770 --> 01:04:10,688 Lumbergh... fucked her. 1121 01:04:10,772 --> 01:04:12,690 That's great. 1122 01:04:12,774 --> 01:04:15,693 I mean, she was seein' the "O" face, for sure! 1123 01:04:15,777 --> 01:04:18,320 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1124 01:04:18,405 --> 01:04:21,323 - Sss. Ooh. - Ooh! Ooh! 1125 01:04:21,408 --> 01:04:24,827 Ifyou could go ahead and just move a little bit to the lef-- That's it. 1126 01:04:24,911 --> 01:04:26,829 Great. [ Inhales ] 1127 01:04:26,913 --> 01:04:28,831 Peter! What's happening? 1128 01:04:28,915 --> 01:04:33,127 Um, could you get me those T.P.S. reports ASAP? Mm-kay? 1129 01:04:33,628 --> 01:04:35,880 [ Gasps ] 1130 01:04:35,964 --> 01:04:38,465 [ Sighs, Panting ] 1131 01:04:48,685 --> 01:04:50,603 -Joanna. - Yeah? 1132 01:04:50,687 --> 01:04:52,605 We need to talk. 1133 01:04:52,689 --> 01:04:55,190 Do you know what this is about? 1134 01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,529 [ Sighs ] My, uh, flair? 1135 01:05:00,614 --> 01:05:02,573 Yeah. 1136 01:05:02,657 --> 01:05:04,575 Or, uh, your lack of flair. 1137 01:05:04,659 --> 01:05:08,579 Because, uh, I'm counting and I only see 1 5 pieces. 1138 01:05:08,663 --> 01:05:10,581 Let me ask you a question, Joanna. 1139 01:05:10,665 --> 01:05:13,500 What do you think of a person... 1140 01:05:13,585 --> 01:05:15,544 who only does the bare minimum? 1141 01:05:17,255 --> 01:05:20,174 Huh. What do I thi-- Uh, you know what, Stan? 1142 01:05:20,258 --> 01:05:23,844 [ Sighs ] Ifyou want me to wear 37 pieces of flair... 1143 01:05:23,929 --> 01:05:26,680 like your pretty boy over there, Brian... 1144 01:05:26,765 --> 01:05:30,309 why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair? 1145 01:05:30,393 --> 01:05:35,272 Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to express yourself. 1146 01:05:35,357 --> 01:05:37,775 Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I do. 1147 01:05:37,859 --> 01:05:42,446 I do wanna express myself. Okay? And I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it. 1148 01:05:43,448 --> 01:05:45,324 All right? 1149 01:05:45,408 --> 01:05:47,326 There's my flair. Okay? 1150 01:05:47,410 --> 01:05:49,328 And this is me expressing myself. 1151 01:05:49,412 --> 01:05:51,288 Okay? 1152 01:05:51,373 --> 01:05:53,082 There it is. 1153 01:05:53,166 --> 01:05:57,378 I hate this job. I hate this goddamn job, and I don't need it! 1154 01:06:04,511 --> 01:06:06,762 [ Beeping ] 1155 01:06:12,894 --> 01:06:14,311 Oh, shit. 1156 01:06:14,396 --> 01:06:16,397 - Shit! Shit! - Oh, shit. 1157 01:06:16,481 --> 01:06:19,650 Son of a bitch! Shit! 1158 01:06:19,734 --> 01:06:22,277 - This is a-- Fuck! l-- I— - Son of a bitch! 1159 01:06:22,362 --> 01:06:24,279 - Shit! - What happened? 1160 01:06:24,364 --> 01:06:28,117 - You tell me, Michael! It's your software! - Yes! It's your software! 1161 01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:32,079 Corporate Accounting is sure as hell gonna notice $305,3— 1162 01:06:33,039 --> 01:06:36,250 26.1 3, Michael! 1163 01:06:36,334 --> 01:06:38,252 Oh, shit! 1164 01:06:38,336 --> 01:06:41,547 They probably won't know it's gone for another three or four days. 1165 01:06:41,631 --> 01:06:45,175 Michael, you said the thing was gonna take two years! 1166 01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:47,761 What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work! 1167 01:06:47,846 --> 01:06:50,431 - Technically, it did work. - No, it didn't! 1168 01:06:50,515 --> 01:06:52,433 It did not work, Michael! Okay? 1169 01:06:52,517 --> 01:06:55,019 Okay, okay! Okay. Okay. 1170 01:06:55,103 --> 01:06:58,022 I must've put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. 1171 01:06:58,106 --> 01:07:00,858 Shit, I always do that. I aIways mess up some mundane detail. 1172 01:07:00,942 --> 01:07:04,987 Oh! Well, this is not a mundane detail, Michael! 1173 01:07:05,071 --> 01:07:07,031 Hey, quit getting pissed at me, all right? 1174 01:07:07,115 --> 01:07:09,950 This was all your idea, asshole. 1175 01:07:10,035 --> 01:07:14,413 All right. Okay. Let's try not to get pissed off at each other. 1176 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,957 Let's just try to figure this thing out together. 1177 01:07:17,042 --> 01:07:20,711 The first thing we gotta do is close that account before it gets any bigger. 1178 01:07:20,795 --> 01:07:25,632 [ Singing Unenthusiastically ] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1179 01:07:25,717 --> 01:07:30,095 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1180 01:07:30,180 --> 01:07:32,723 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 1181 01:07:32,807 --> 01:07:35,893 ♪ Mr. Lumbergh ♪ 1182 01:07:35,977 --> 01:07:39,855 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪ 1183 01:07:42,484 --> 01:07:45,569 [ Lumbergh ] Doesn't that look terrific. 1184 01:07:45,653 --> 01:07:47,571 Mmm! 1185 01:07:47,655 --> 01:07:50,240 Here, Peg. You wanna get everybody started there? 1186 01:07:52,994 --> 01:07:55,454 Mmm! Oh, that is terrific. 1187 01:07:55,538 --> 01:07:57,831 - Just terrific. Thanks, everybody. - Thank you. 1188 01:07:57,916 --> 01:08:01,085 Really. I really, really appreciate it. It's very special. 1189 01:08:01,169 --> 01:08:04,505 Now, Milton! Don't be greedy! 1190 01:08:04,589 --> 01:08:07,716 Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. 1191 01:08:07,801 --> 01:08:10,844 'Kay, but last time I didn't receive a piece, and I was told that-- 1192 01:08:10,929 --> 01:08:14,431 -Just pass. - Okay. 1193 01:08:14,516 --> 01:08:17,684 But this-- this-- If-- There-- There-- 1194 01:08:17,769 --> 01:08:19,978 I just-- See, the cake-- 1195 01:08:20,063 --> 01:08:22,815 There's lots of cake, but there's-- 1196 01:08:23,858 --> 01:08:26,819 The ratio of people to cake is-- 1197 01:08:26,903 --> 01:08:29,613 [ Milton Muttering ] 1198 01:08:29,697 --> 01:08:32,491 All I want is a piece of cake-- 1199 01:08:39,207 --> 01:08:41,917 I think there's-- there's a piece of-- 1200 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,922 [ Muttering ] I could set the building on fire. 1201 01:08:47,006 --> 01:08:50,467 I-Is there some way to just give the money back? 1202 01:08:50,552 --> 01:08:54,471 What, do you mean just hand them a check for the exact amount they're missing? 1203 01:08:54,556 --> 01:08:56,723 I think they!d figure that out. 1204 01:08:56,808 --> 01:08:59,351 Well, we have to do something. 1205 01:08:59,435 --> 01:09:01,895 Maybe we could launder the money. 1206 01:09:02,647 --> 01:09:04,606 That's a great idea. 1207 01:09:04,691 --> 01:09:07,651 - Okay, how do we do that? - I don't-- I don't know. 1208 01:09:07,735 --> 01:09:10,654 I don't even know what it means. I was hoping you knew. 1209 01:09:10,738 --> 01:09:14,366 - I think coke dealers do it. - All right, do we know any coke dealers? 1210 01:09:14,450 --> 01:09:16,618 M-My cousin's a cokehead. 1211 01:09:22,041 --> 01:09:24,459 Fuck. We're in deep shit. 1212 01:09:24,544 --> 01:09:28,255 Yes, we are in very, very deep shit. 1213 01:09:30,008 --> 01:09:31,967 [ Grunts ] 1214 01:09:32,051 --> 01:09:34,428 Milton. 1215 01:09:34,512 --> 01:09:36,471 - Yes? - What's happening? 1216 01:09:36,556 --> 01:09:39,183 - I wanted to see you-- - Say, Milton, you know what'd be great? 1217 01:09:39,267 --> 01:09:41,185 Wh-- No. 1218 01:09:41,269 --> 01:09:45,314 Since you're down here, it would be really great ifyou could just sort of... 1219 01:09:45,398 --> 01:09:48,358 take care of the cockroach problem we've been having in here. 1220 01:09:48,443 --> 01:09:51,278 No, that's really not myjob, and I— I haven't received my paycheck-- 1221 01:09:51,362 --> 01:09:54,865 So, for now why don't you get yourself a flashlight... 1222 01:09:54,949 --> 01:09:57,826 and a can of pesticide and crawl back-- 1223 01:09:57,911 --> 01:10:00,287 Bill? We nEED you upstairs right away. 1224 01:10:00,371 --> 01:10:02,289 We got a big problem. Big. 1225 01:10:02,373 --> 01:10:04,291 Some major glitch in Accounting. 1226 01:10:04,375 --> 01:10:06,418 - A lot of money missing. - Hmm. 1227 01:10:06,502 --> 01:10:08,670 We've got an investigator here. 1228 01:10:10,757 --> 01:10:13,675 - Excuse me? - [ Footsteps Ascending Stairs ] 1229 01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:16,094 - Excuse me! - [ Door Slams ] 1230 01:10:17,305 --> 01:10:21,183 Well... okay, but... that's the last straw. 1231 01:10:21,392 --> 01:10:23,894 Here we go. Here we go. 1232 01:10:23,978 --> 01:10:25,896 Uh, "launder." 1233 01:10:25,980 --> 01:10:28,065 "To clean--" No. "Wash." 1234 01:10:28,149 --> 01:10:30,734 Here it is: "To conceal the source of money... 1235 01:10:30,818 --> 01:10:35,447 as by channeling it through an intermediary." 1236 01:10:35,531 --> 01:10:37,449 "To conceal a source of money--" 1237 01:10:37,533 --> 01:10:39,451 That doesn't really help us, Michael. 1238 01:10:39,535 --> 01:10:41,411 I can't believe what nerds we are... 1239 01:10:41,496 --> 01:10:43,413 looking up money laundering in a dictionary. 1240 01:10:43,498 --> 01:10:45,415 Yeah, well... 1241 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:48,001 you guys can both eat my ass, okay? 1242 01:10:48,086 --> 01:10:51,129 I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh. That's what I can't believe. 1243 01:10:51,214 --> 01:10:54,174 - You didn't know that? - Yeah. You didn't know that? 1244 01:10:54,259 --> 01:10:57,344 A couple ofyears ago, before he moved to Atlanta. 1245 01:10:59,055 --> 01:11:02,516 You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy? The young guy? 1246 01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,102 Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill? [ Snickers ] 1247 01:11:05,186 --> 01:11:07,104 - [ Snickering ] - [ Laughing ] 1248 01:11:07,188 --> 01:11:09,982 Fuckin'-- Their children would have hooves. 1249 01:11:10,066 --> 01:11:11,984 [ Laughing Cntinues ] 1250 01:11:12,068 --> 01:11:14,945 - Ron's not related to Bill, is he? - [ Knocking ] 1251 01:11:15,029 --> 01:11:17,614 Who's that? 1252 01:11:17,699 --> 01:11:21,034 All right, nobody panic. Probablyjust Lawrence. 1253 01:11:24,706 --> 01:11:27,833 [ Haltingly ] Good evening. My name is Steve. I come from a rough area. 1254 01:11:27,917 --> 01:11:30,502 I used to be addicted to crack, but now I'm off and trying to stay clean. 1255 01:11:30,586 --> 01:11:34,006 - Okay. - That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions. 1256 01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,008 - No. - W-W-Wait a minute. 1257 01:11:36,092 --> 01:11:38,051 You used to be addicted to crack? 1258 01:11:38,136 --> 01:11:39,803 Yeah, b-- 1259 01:11:39,887 --> 01:11:42,472 Um, w-- 1260 01:11:42,557 --> 01:11:44,474 Look, I'm very sorry. 1261 01:11:44,559 --> 01:11:47,477 I do not know anything about any money laundering. 1262 01:11:47,562 --> 01:11:50,480 No, we're not asking you about money laundering. 1263 01:11:50,565 --> 01:11:53,483 - We need you to hook us up with-- - Michael, he doesn't know anybody. 1264 01:11:53,568 --> 01:11:56,153 No, wait-- wait a minute. Look. 1265 01:11:56,237 --> 01:11:59,281 You just give us the name of one drug dealer. I could talk to him. 1266 01:11:59,365 --> 01:12:02,576 - I have good networking skill-- - [ Normal Voice ] I lied. 1267 01:12:02,660 --> 01:12:06,246 All that stuff I said about being a crackhead just helps me sell magazines. 1268 01:12:06,331 --> 01:12:09,875 I'm actually an unemployed software engineer. 1269 01:12:14,005 --> 01:12:16,715 - You're a software engineer? - Yep. 1270 01:12:16,799 --> 01:12:19,343 Things, uh, must be very rough for you. 1271 01:12:19,427 --> 01:12:22,679 Actually, man, I make more money selling magazine subscriptions... 1272 01:12:22,764 --> 01:12:24,681 than I ever did at Initrode. 1273 01:12:24,766 --> 01:12:26,892 At Initrode? 1274 01:12:26,976 --> 01:12:30,812 Wait a minute. You're not gonna tell anybody about this stuffwe told you. 1275 01:12:30,897 --> 01:12:33,607 I mean, we knoW a lot ofthe same people. That's-- 1276 01:12:35,276 --> 01:12:38,195 [ Clears Throat ] Actually, um, that all depends. 1277 01:12:38,279 --> 01:12:40,614 Wh-- 1278 01:12:43,117 --> 01:12:46,536 What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe? 1279 01:12:46,621 --> 01:12:50,374 We never should have done this. What were we thinking? 1280 01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:53,251 You know what I can't figure out? 1281 01:12:53,336 --> 01:12:57,255 How is it that all these stupid, Neanderthal mafia guys can be so good at crime... 1282 01:12:57,340 --> 01:12:59,716 and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? 1283 01:12:59,801 --> 01:13:01,718 We're new to it, though. 1284 01:13:01,803 --> 01:13:03,929 Ifwe had more experience-- 1285 01:13:04,013 --> 01:13:07,391 No, you know what I think? I think we're screwed. 1286 01:13:07,475 --> 01:13:11,019 There's enough evidence all over that building to link us to thiS. 1287 01:13:11,104 --> 01:13:14,856 Even ifwe could launder money, I wouldn't want to. What we've done is bad enough. 1288 01:13:14,941 --> 01:13:18,235 We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. 1289 01:13:18,319 --> 01:13:21,279 No, no, no, we're going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. 1290 01:13:21,364 --> 01:13:24,282 I-I-I don't want to go to any prison! 1291 01:13:24,367 --> 01:13:26,284 Why the hell did I do this? 1292 01:13:26,369 --> 01:13:28,912 I've never done anything wrong in my whole life. 1293 01:13:28,996 --> 01:13:32,040 We weren't thinking clearly because you told us we were losing ourjobs. 1294 01:13:32,125 --> 01:13:34,459 And now we're worried about going in a prison. 1295 01:13:34,544 --> 01:13:36,753 Don't worry about it. I'll think of something. 1296 01:13:36,838 --> 01:13:38,755 [ Scoffs ] 1297 01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:41,716 - I'm going home. - Me too. 1298 01:13:43,636 --> 01:13:47,514 You are a very bad person, Peter. 1299 01:13:47,598 --> 01:13:49,808 [ Door Opens ] 1300 01:13:51,519 --> 01:13:53,520 [ Door Closes ] 1301 01:14:07,827 --> 01:14:09,744 Lawrence, you awake? 1302 01:14:09,829 --> 01:14:11,746 Yeah. 1303 01:14:11,831 --> 01:14:13,748 You wanna come over? 1304 01:14:13,833 --> 01:14:17,461 No, thanks, man. I don't want you fuckin' up my life too. 1305 01:14:17,545 --> 01:14:19,546 Goddamn. 1306 01:14:22,675 --> 01:14:25,594 And in light of the senselessness ofthese heinous crimes... 1307 01:14:25,678 --> 01:14:27,846 that you have committed against Initech... 1308 01:14:27,930 --> 01:14:30,515 I hereby sentence you, Michael Bolton... 1309 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,517 and Samir Naan-- 1310 01:14:32,602 --> 01:14:35,520 Nanadajibad... 1311 01:14:35,605 --> 01:14:38,523 to a term of no less than four years... 1312 01:14:38,608 --> 01:14:41,067 in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. 1313 01:14:42,612 --> 01:14:44,196 [ Sniffling, Sobbing ] 1314 01:14:45,573 --> 01:14:47,491 Peter Gibbons... 1315 01:14:47,575 --> 01:14:50,285 you've led a trite and meaningless life. 1316 01:14:51,579 --> 01:14:55,290 And you're a very bad person. 1317 01:14:56,501 --> 01:14:59,002 [ Gavel Bangs, Reverberates ] 1318 01:15:21,609 --> 01:15:23,610 [ Sighs ] 1319 01:15:32,453 --> 01:15:34,746 Hey. 1320 01:15:34,830 --> 01:15:37,749 You're not working at Chotchkie's anymore, huh? 1321 01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:39,960 No. No, I got fired. 1322 01:15:40,044 --> 01:15:41,962 What happened? 1323 01:15:42,046 --> 01:15:43,964 I flipped off my boss... 1324 01:15:44,048 --> 01:15:45,882 some customers-- 1325 01:15:45,967 --> 01:15:48,969 Actually, a line cook, but he just happened to be standing there, so-- 1326 01:15:50,263 --> 01:15:52,722 I might be going away for a while... 1327 01:15:52,807 --> 01:15:55,850 uh, to jail. 1328 01:15:55,935 --> 01:15:59,229 You were right about that computer scam. That was a bad idea. 1329 01:15:59,313 --> 01:16:01,815 I'm gonna take the blame for it, I decided. 1330 01:16:03,609 --> 01:16:06,611 I'm on my way now to return the money and leave a confession... 1331 01:16:06,696 --> 01:16:08,655 under Lumbergh's door. 1332 01:16:10,074 --> 01:16:11,992 Joanna, I want to apologize. 1333 01:16:12,076 --> 01:16:15,787 I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh. Lumbergh is not my problem. 1334 01:16:15,871 --> 01:16:17,789 Wasn't even the right Lumbergh. 1335 01:16:17,873 --> 01:16:21,793 I don't know why I can't just go to work and be happy... 1336 01:16:21,877 --> 01:16:24,421 like I'm supposed to, like everybody else. 1337 01:16:24,505 --> 01:16:26,548 Peter, most people don't like theirjobs. 1338 01:16:26,632 --> 01:16:30,594 But you go out there and you find something that makes you happy. 1339 01:16:30,678 --> 01:16:32,679 Yeah, well... 1340 01:16:34,015 --> 01:16:36,266 I may never be happy at myjob... 1341 01:16:36,350 --> 01:16:39,269 but I think that if I could be with you... 1342 01:16:39,353 --> 01:16:41,313 that I could be happy with my life. 1343 01:16:41,397 --> 01:16:43,356 I've been a real asshole. 1344 01:16:43,441 --> 01:16:46,443 But ifyou could give it another shot, I promise-- 1345 01:16:46,527 --> 01:16:48,528 Okay, shut up. 1346 01:16:52,325 --> 01:16:55,076 Whoa! Hey! What's going on here? 1347 01:16:55,161 --> 01:16:57,579 Get a room, you two! [ Cackles ] 1348 01:16:57,663 --> 01:17:00,165 Nyah-nyah-nyah! [ Laughing ] 1349 01:17:00,249 --> 01:17:03,168 I hate that guy. 1350 01:17:41,332 --> 01:17:43,333 [ Sighs ] 1351 01:17:54,178 --> 01:17:57,013 Then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to Payroll... 1352 01:17:57,098 --> 01:17:59,766 and then Payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh. 1353 01:17:59,850 --> 01:18:02,769 I still haven't received my paycheck, and he took my stapler. 1354 01:18:02,853 --> 01:18:04,771 He never brought it back. 1355 01:18:04,855 --> 01:18:07,982 Then they moved by desk to storage room "B" and there was garbage on it-- 1356 01:18:08,067 --> 01:18:10,985 Why don't you go back down and sit at your desk. 1357 01:18:11,070 --> 01:18:13,988 -Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute. -I want to talk to Mr. Lumbergh. 1358 01:18:14,073 --> 01:18:15,990 Just go sit at your desk. Okay? 1359 01:18:16,075 --> 01:18:19,119 Okay, but I— l-- I'm gonna just-- 1360 01:18:19,203 --> 01:18:22,122 I'm telling you right now, my desk is located in the basement. 1361 01:18:22,206 --> 01:18:24,124 I'm sure you know where it is. 1362 01:18:24,208 --> 01:18:26,126 - [ Milton Continues Muttering ] - [ Door Closes ] 1363 01:18:26,210 --> 01:18:28,628 I'm just gonna have to take my stapler back. 1364 01:18:28,713 --> 01:18:31,715 Because it's my stapler, and I told Mr.— It's my-- It's-- 1365 01:18:37,722 --> 01:18:39,639 It's my stapler. It's a Swingline. 1366 01:18:39,724 --> 01:18:42,642 I've been using it for a long time. 1367 01:18:42,727 --> 01:18:45,103 [ Continues Muttering ] It doesn't bind up-- 1368 01:19:00,828 --> 01:19:02,829 Lawrence. You in there? 1369 01:19:04,665 --> 01:19:06,583 Whoa. Hey, Peter, man. 1370 01:19:06,667 --> 01:19:08,585 Hey. 1371 01:19:08,669 --> 01:19:12,881 - So, I might be going away for a while. - Yeah, I know, man. 1372 01:19:12,965 --> 01:19:15,467 It's a bummer, dude. What can I say? 1373 01:19:15,551 --> 01:19:17,552 Yeah. Uh-- 1374 01:19:19,472 --> 01:19:22,432 Well, time to go face the music. 1375 01:19:22,516 --> 01:19:25,435 You take care ofyourself if I don't see you. All right? 1376 01:19:25,519 --> 01:19:28,438 - You too, man. Take 'er easy, bud. - All right. 1377 01:19:28,522 --> 01:19:30,607 All right. 1378 01:19:30,691 --> 01:19:33,777 - Hey, Peter. - Yeah? 1379 01:19:33,861 --> 01:19:36,571 Watch out for your cornhole, bud. 1380 01:19:37,698 --> 01:19:39,532 Okay, Lawrence. 1381 01:19:41,202 --> 01:19:44,704 [ Siren Wailing In Distance ] 1382 01:19:49,877 --> 01:19:53,254 - [ Radio: Dispatcher, Indistinct ] - [ Chattering, Murmuring ] 1383 01:19:53,339 --> 01:19:56,132 [ Fireman ] Stay clear, now! Stay clear! 1384 01:19:56,217 --> 01:19:58,134 Holy shit! 1385 01:19:58,219 --> 01:20:00,220 Excuse me. 1386 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,902 [ Milton Muttering ] 1387 01:20:15,986 --> 01:20:20,406 And, uh-- I mean, can l-- I was here first. I have to-- 1388 01:20:23,661 --> 01:20:25,662 Oh, gosh. 1389 01:21:07,329 --> 01:21:10,248 Wait a minute. Let me take a look at that. 1390 01:21:10,332 --> 01:21:14,168 You don't want that, Peter, man. That's toasted, man. 1391 01:21:14,253 --> 01:21:17,255 I think I know someone who might want this. 1392 01:21:21,427 --> 01:21:24,637 ♪♪ [ Car Stereo: Rap ] 1393 01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:28,516 [ Horn Honks ] 1394 01:21:28,601 --> 01:21:30,560 Hey, man! 1395 01:21:30,644 --> 01:21:32,729 Wanna go to lunch? 1396 01:21:32,813 --> 01:21:34,731 Brought mine in a pail. 1397 01:21:34,815 --> 01:21:37,525 Plus, Joanna's supposed to come by a little later. 1398 01:21:38,527 --> 01:21:41,446 So, how do you like your newjob? 1399 01:21:41,530 --> 01:21:43,448 Not too bad. Not too bad. 1400 01:21:43,532 --> 01:21:45,450 How's, uh, Penetrode? 1401 01:21:45,534 --> 01:21:47,452 - Intertrode. - Intertrode. 1402 01:21:47,536 --> 01:21:49,454 - They're all right. - It's work. 1403 01:21:49,538 --> 01:21:51,456 Yeah. Yeah. 1404 01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:53,958 Probably get you a job there ifyou want. 1405 01:21:54,043 --> 01:21:57,045 No, thanks. I, uh-- I'm doing good here. 1406 01:21:57,129 --> 01:21:59,422 So, uh... 1407 01:21:59,506 --> 01:22:01,633 we're gonna be okay, right? 1408 01:22:01,717 --> 01:22:03,927 Yeah. 1409 01:22:04,011 --> 01:22:06,930 I think the fire pretty much took care of everything. 1410 01:22:07,014 --> 01:22:08,932 I wonder ifthe money burned up. 1411 01:22:09,016 --> 01:22:10,934 It would be a shame. 1412 01:22:11,018 --> 01:22:14,520 - Yeah. - So you're sure you don't want us to get you a job? 1413 01:22:15,856 --> 01:22:19,025 That's one thing I'm definitely sure of. 1414 01:22:19,985 --> 01:22:22,946 - Okay. - All right, chief. 1415 01:22:23,030 --> 01:22:25,949 - You guys take care. All right? - All right. 1416 01:22:26,033 --> 01:22:27,951 Stay in touch, man. 1417 01:22:28,035 --> 01:22:30,036 Okay. Will do. 1418 01:22:33,874 --> 01:22:35,875 This isn't so bad, huh? 1419 01:22:36,877 --> 01:22:39,837 Making bucks, getting exercise... 1420 01:22:39,922 --> 01:22:41,839 working outside. 1421 01:22:41,924 --> 01:22:48,388 Fuckin'-A 1422 01:23:06,615 --> 01:23:08,658 Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. 1423 01:23:08,742 --> 01:23:10,660 May I speak to you, please? 1424 01:23:10,744 --> 01:23:13,371 I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a piña colada. 1425 01:23:13,455 --> 01:23:17,083 And I said no salt-- no saIt for the margarita, but it had saIt on it. 1426 01:23:17,167 --> 01:23:20,211 - LO siento mucho, eñOr. [ Muttering ] Pinche gringo. - Big grains of salt-- 1427 01:23:20,295 --> 01:23:23,214 Ifthis happens again, I won't be leaving a tip. 1428 01:23:23,298 --> 01:23:26,384 'Cause I could-- I could shut this whole resort down. 1429 01:23:26,468 --> 01:23:28,386 Sir? 1430 01:23:28,470 --> 01:23:32,015 I could take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. 1431 01:23:34,101 --> 01:23:37,020 I could write a letter to your board oftourism... 1432 01:23:37,104 --> 01:23:39,522 and I could have this place condemned. 1433 01:23:39,606 --> 01:23:43,526 I could put-- I could put strychnine in the guacamole. 1434 01:23:43,610 --> 01:23:46,529 There was salt on the glass. Big grains of salt. 1435 01:23:46,780 --> 01:23:49,615 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 1436 01:23:51,493 --> 01:23:54,495 [ Man Vocalizing, Echoing ] 1437 01:24:00,836 --> 01:24:03,755 Give her a ride on the old bone roller coaster. 1438 01:24:03,839 --> 01:24:06,632 - Aaaah! [ Chuckles, Whistles ] - [ Lumbergh ] Mmm! 1439 01:24:06,717 --> 01:24:08,051 Yeah. 1440 01:24:08,135 --> 01:24:09,719 [ Man Rapping ] ♪ Yo, 6:00 every morning ♪ 1441 01:24:09,803 --> 01:24:13,222 ♪ You wakin' up yawnin' to the sound ofyour alarm clock alarmin' ♪ 1442 01:24:13,307 --> 01:24:16,517 ♪ About an hour from now you should be at your place of employment ♪ 1443 01:24:16,602 --> 01:24:19,854 ♪ Which is annoyin' 'cause it's so borin' Your coworkers been talkin' ♪ 1444 01:24:19,938 --> 01:24:21,856 Hey, don't come back in a dress, man! 1445 01:24:21,940 --> 01:24:23,858 [ Chuckles ] You big fag! 1446 01:24:23,942 --> 01:24:26,110 ♪ You wonder why your workload is so enormous ♪ 1447 01:24:26,195 --> 01:24:29,447 ♪ 'Cause your boss just laid off three-quarters of the whole office ♪ 1448 01:24:29,531 --> 01:24:31,741 ♪ People get depressed They get ulcers ♪ 1449 01:24:31,825 --> 01:24:34,410 ♪ From the stress that the corporate environment causes ♪ 1450 01:24:34,495 --> 01:24:37,080 ♪ Regardless of how you uItimately wanna soIve this ♪ 1451 01:24:37,164 --> 01:24:39,624 ♪ Seems to me like you got one of four choices ♪ 1452 01:24:39,708 --> 01:24:42,251 ♪ You could take a newjob offer for more tips ♪ 1453 01:24:42,336 --> 01:24:44,796 ♪ Stick it out a little longer or forfeit ♪ 1454 01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,798 ♪ But my advice to anybody who wants to quit ♪ 1455 01:24:46,882 --> 01:24:50,259 I'm working at Hooters now, and it's very cool. 1456 01:24:50,344 --> 01:24:51,928 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1457 01:24:52,012 --> 01:24:55,473 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1458 01:24:55,557 --> 01:24:57,600 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1459 01:24:57,684 --> 01:25:00,686 ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ 1460 01:25:00,771 --> 01:25:02,939 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1461 01:25:03,023 --> 01:25:06,109 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1462 01:25:06,193 --> 01:25:08,611 ♪ Take this job Take this job ♪ 1463 01:25:08,695 --> 01:25:11,030 - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ - ♪ Yo ♪ 1464 01:25:11,115 --> 01:25:13,157 ♪ Ifyour boss is an S.O.B. ♪ 1465 01:25:13,242 --> 01:25:16,577 ♪ Tell him to S-H-O-V-E the J-O-B ♪ 1466 01:25:16,662 --> 01:25:18,496 ♪ Put your middle finger up slowly ♪ 1467 01:25:18,580 --> 01:25:21,833 ♪ Put it close enough to his face so he can examine it closely ♪ 1468 01:25:21,917 --> 01:25:23,668 ♪ Say "I ain't workin' here no more ♪ 1469 01:25:23,752 --> 01:25:24,877 ♪ Who do you think you are?" ♪ 1470 01:25:24,962 --> 01:25:26,921 ♪ Rip the apron off Throw it on the floor ♪ 1471 01:25:27,005 --> 01:25:30,049 ♪ Run to the door to the pay phone Make a toll-free call ♪ 1472 01:25:30,134 --> 01:25:32,343 ♪ Tell your spouse what happened and where you are ♪ 1473 01:25:32,427 --> 01:25:34,929 ♪ So they can come to get you in the car later on ♪ 1474 01:25:35,013 --> 01:25:37,723 ♪ And help you search for a new 9:00-to-5:00 job ♪ 1475 01:25:37,808 --> 01:25:39,934 ♪ Ifthe unemployment line ain't that long ♪ 1476 01:25:40,018 --> 01:25:42,812 ♪ You can take your time fillin' out W-9 forms ♪ 1477 01:25:42,896 --> 01:25:45,481 ♪ Eventually you'll get on ifyou try hard enough ♪ 1478 01:25:45,566 --> 01:25:48,192 ♪ And you'll get money ifyou keep punchin' your time card enough ♪ 1479 01:25:48,277 --> 01:25:50,027 ♪ Maybe you hate it Maybe you love it ♪ 1480 01:25:50,112 --> 01:25:53,489 ♪ But ifyou hate it all you gotta do is get mad and tell your boSS to ♪ 1481 01:25:53,574 --> 01:25:55,658 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1482 01:25:55,742 --> 01:25:58,703 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1483 01:25:58,787 --> 01:26:00,872 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1484 01:26:00,956 --> 01:26:04,000 ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ 1485 01:26:04,084 --> 01:26:06,169 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1486 01:26:06,253 --> 01:26:09,255 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1487 01:26:09,339 --> 01:26:11,841 ♪ Take this job Take this job ♪ 1488 01:26:11,925 --> 01:26:14,510 - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ - ♪ Yo ♪ 1489 01:26:14,595 --> 01:26:16,512 ♪ Some occupations are like slave gigs ♪ 1490 01:26:16,597 --> 01:26:19,265 ♪ The boss's favorite'll get placed in somethin' spacious ♪ 1491 01:26:19,349 --> 01:26:22,476 ♪ While the most hated get placed in some small cubicle spaces ♪ 1492 01:26:22,561 --> 01:26:24,187 ♪ Or get thrown down in the basement ♪ 1493 01:26:24,271 --> 01:26:25,855 ♪ Get your stapler confiscated ♪ 1494 01:26:25,939 --> 01:26:27,732 ♪ You constantly waitin' for a paycheck ♪ 1495 01:26:27,816 --> 01:26:30,484 ♪ TweIve months pass by and you still ain't get paid yet ♪ 1496 01:26:30,569 --> 01:26:32,195 ♪ Here's an optimistic motto ♪ 1497 01:26:32,279 --> 01:26:35,615 ♪ Ifyou ever late for today you can say you early for tomorrow ♪ 1498 01:26:35,699 --> 01:26:37,366 ♪ Most 9:00-to-5:00s are hard ♪ 1499 01:26:37,451 --> 01:26:40,661 ♪ 'Cause the descriprion of the job ain't no picnic in the park ♪ 1500 01:26:40,746 --> 01:26:43,289 ♪ Peple get hired Drink coffee to stay wired ♪ 1501 01:26:43,373 --> 01:26:46,083 ♪ So they don't get tired sleep late and get fired ♪ 1502 01:26:46,168 --> 01:26:48,836 ♪ You came in late You already ate ♪ 1503 01:26:48,921 --> 01:26:51,172 ♪ Now you wanna take a lunch break ♪ 1504 01:26:51,256 --> 01:26:53,966 ♪ Hey, yo, bust it Ain't no nEED to discuss it ♪ 1505 01:26:54,051 --> 01:26:56,761 ♪Just take this job and shove it right between your buttocks ♪ 1506 01:26:56,845 --> 01:26:58,971 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1507 01:26:59,056 --> 01:27:02,016 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1508 01:27:02,100 --> 01:27:04,185 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1509 01:27:04,269 --> 01:27:07,396 ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ 1510 01:27:07,481 --> 01:27:09,482 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1511 01:27:09,566 --> 01:27:12,568 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1512 01:27:12,653 --> 01:27:15,154 ♪ Take this job Take this job ♪ 1513 01:27:15,239 --> 01:27:17,823 - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ - [ Lumbergh ] Mmm. Yeah. 1514 01:27:17,908 --> 01:27:20,076 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1515 01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:23,079 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1516 01:27:23,163 --> 01:27:25,706 ♪ I, I, I, I, I-I-I-I ♪ 1517 01:27:25,791 --> 01:27:28,542 ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ 1518 01:27:28,627 --> 01:27:30,586 ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1519 01:27:30,671 --> 01:27:33,631 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - ♪ Take this job and shove it ♪ 1520 01:27:33,715 --> 01:27:35,883 ♪ I-I, I-I-I ♪ 1521 01:27:35,968 --> 01:27:38,970 - ♪ I ain't workin' here no more ♪ - [ Lumbergh ] Mmm. Yeah. 1522 01:27:39,054 --> 01:27:41,597 ♪ Ahh-ahh, ah-ah-ahh ♪ 1523 01:27:41,682 --> 01:27:44,350 ♪ Canibus and the Biz ♪ 1524 01:27:44,434 --> 01:27:46,477 ♪ Ahh-ahh, ah-ah-ahh ♪ 1525 01:27:46,561 --> 01:27:49,605 ♪ It's comin' from Canibus and the Biz ♪ 1526 01:27:49,690 --> 01:27:51,774 ♪ What, what What ♪ 1527 01:27:51,858 --> 01:27:54,735 ♪ It's comin' from Canibus and the Biz ♪ 1528 01:27:54,820 --> 01:27:56,988 - ♪ Ahhh, ahhh ♪ - ♪ From ♪ 1529 01:27:57,072 --> 01:27:58,614 ♪ From Canibus and the ♪